A Womanless Pageant?
by animeo
Summary: Sanada has been forced into proposing a certain event to Atobe and Tezuka. Just how will the other teams react to such a pageant? Who would want to do it in the first place? Cursing ABOUNDS!
1. Propositions

**Nya, Ok! Time for another multi-chapter story! to tell you the truth, I can honestly thank school for this one. We have this thing that we do called a womanless pageant. Essentially men dress up as women and everything inbetween! I love it! Its like promoting cross-dressing and that makes me smile so very much. Any way... this is a joint story with Rikkai, Hyotei, and Seishun so this is gonna be good! As always I hope that you all enjoy this story!**

* * *

Why was Atobe here again? Oh right Sanada had called him and told him to meet him at this dinky little coffee shop in the middle of frickin' no where. Tezuka was supposed to be arriving as well, since Sanada declared that it was quite urgent. Just what was it that was so urgent? Atobe didn't know, but he did want to find out.

"Where the hell is he?" Atobe muttered wrapping his expensive, fuzzy pea coat around him tighter. It was the middle of winter and Sanada said to wait outside for him, so here Atobe was for once doing as he was told and waited outside. It would have been fine if it was summer time and Sanada had arrived quickly, but no no no this was winter and freezing snow, and Sanada was over thirty minutes late. Despite all of this Tezuka wasn't there yet either, where were these idiots at?

"I'm going to slowly and painfully kill both of them if they don't hurry the hell up!" Atobe gritted his teeth as another gust of wind blew. Damn Mother Nature and her cold, heartless, breath. This is why nature had to be run by a woman, because it was so damn fickle and bitchy!

"Atobe?"

Atobe turned quickly towards the voice that had called to him; Tezuka was wrapped tightly in a large jacket and muffler. His face slightly red from the cold weather.

"About time Tezuka, Ore-sama was going to stand out here and freeze to death waiting on one of you."

"Why didn't you just go inside?"

"Because, Sanada told me to stand out here and wait." Atobe replied pushing his way in. He only became angrier to realize that a mere two feet away had been the heavenly blessing of warmth and coziness.

"I hate you both."

"Don't blame me; you are the one that stood outside."

"Shut up." Atobe growled finding an open table to sit at. Tezuka sat down across from him leaving one seat open next to either of them for Sanada to sit next to.

Ten minutes later Sanada finally walked in and sat down with a large scowl on his face. Tezuka and Atobe had both ordered something to eat in this time since they both had not eaten since lunch. Atobe gave Tezuka the liberty of ordering for both of them, as long as it wasn't something too disgusting. A sandwich with a tiny bag of chips was good enough, Atobe guessed as he looked down at the meager food offering.

"What are you all scrunched up for? Ore-sama should be the one pissed off because you where almost an hour late." Atobe asked resting his chin on an up turned palm, taking a tiny bit of his sandwich.

"I was getting details from Yukimura concerning why it was that I called you two here."

"And that would be?" Tezuka began.

"Seiichi proposes that we, our three tennis teams, have a joint partnership in some form of an activity that is away from tennis, believe it or not. He wants no tennis of any form." Sanada explained.

"A good will festival?" Atobe questioned. "You honestly expect for Ore-sama's tennis team to perform a joint festival with you two idiots?"

"You think I want to do this? I certainly do not, especially with what Seiichi suggested we do as the main event."

"And that would be?"

"A Womanless pageant." Sanada sighed.

"Womanless pageant. I will give Yukimura-kun points for originality." Tezuka stated. "But I highly doubt any of our teammates would agree to something like that."

"Jirou would agree in heartbeat if he could stay awake." Atobe reasoned

"Niou would force Yagyuu into dressing up just for kicks." Sanada nodded staring down at the table.

"Tezuka, you know that your Fuji boy would jump at this chance." Atobe smirked leaning in closer. "Ore-sama can tell that you too want to see him in a dress."

"Atobe, you are being foolish again."

"I wouldn't mind seeing you in a dress either Tezuka." Atobe added under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Ore-sama said...mmm chips, yes mmm chips Ore-sama loves his chips!" Atobe took two chips at once and ate them. _'These things are absolutely DISGUSTING!' Atobe chocked in his head._

"Oh and as much as it hurts me to say this, Seiichi also requested that each of us participate."

"Did Ore-sama forget to mention his sudden dislike in this idea? I believe I did so now I'll say it. I hate this idea."

"Sanada, you aren't serious are you?" Tezuka asked.

"Oooonly slightly." Sanada replied.

"Only slightly?"

"Yep."

"Meaning that you are completely serious because Yukimura is possibly threatening you?" Atobe added with a small laugh.

"Niou and Akaya get to do their own form of punishment for a whole two months after the festival if I don't make you two agree. I will drag you two down with me if it comes to that."

"We don't go to school with you Sanada." Tezuka said.

"I understand that. You've never heard of teammate exchange? I think Yanagi wouldn't mind going to see Inui and Akutagawa probably would adore having Marui come to visit him in your stead."

"Shit…alright Ore-sama shall…talk to his team about this."

"As will I." Tezuka agreed as he mentally kicking himself for giving into the scare tactic. He didn't know what, but if Sanada was giving in just by having Niou and Kirihara has his punishment dealers, then he should probably give in as well.

"So it's agreed that we will all work together on this?"

"Yes." Atobe and Tezuka said in unison_._

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**So yea that's how it starts. Everything in a nutshell and yea...mmm chips! Haha I have a feeling that this is going to be pretty good! XD Also tell me who you would like to see from each school participate in the pageant! Other than Tezuka, Atobe, and Sanada (OMG I'm going to die writting him in a dress!) also who you think would be a good Emcee! I'm not sure whether or not I should make Shishido or Chotarou participate...What do you guys think?**

**animeo**


	2. Seishun's entries

**-giggly giggly- I love this! I utterly ADORE THIS! and its only Seishun's section I havn't even gotten to the good stuff yet! I don't know why, but writing things for them is just boring for me. Rikkai and Hyotei on the other hand is just so much fun! I don't know, just do review! and as I always say I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**STUPIDPAGEBREAKHATESMEAGAINSOHEREISTHELITTLEWORDPAGEBREAK!**

"Regulars need to stay back for a quick meeting in the club room, the rest of you are dismissed!" Tezuka announced at the closing of afternoon club activities the next day. He really was hating Sanada and Yukimura right now.

"What is it Tezuka?" Fuji asked first.

"You'll find out once everyone else gets in here." Tezuka let out a small sigh before sitting down on a bench on the farthest side of the club room.

"Wait what?" Oishi stood there wide eyed just like the rest of the team. They couldn't believe that Tezuka would actually expect something as silly and idiotic as this of them. No matter how childish they were they were still men, only slightly though.

"Buchou you know I respect you and everything, but…you've gone completely insane or you have got to be that porcupine head from Rikkai in disguise."

"No Echizen I'm not Niou, and I'm entirely serious about this." Tezuka replied lacing his fingers together and rested them on his lap. Sadly he was serious, as always never a joking matter when it came his announcements.

"But, Buchou."

"No buts Echizen. I need to know which one of you will be participating." Tezuka stared at the group of boys in front of him, "please don't all speak at once, this isn't a matter of life or death. If you choose to do this it will make you no less of a man in any of our eyes."

'_BULL SHIT!'_ They all thought in unison. _'We will be the laughing stock of the entire world of Senior High Tennis!'_

"Its not like you will be only ones doing this, Hyotei and Rikkai will have participants as well. Now we need at least three is what Sanada told me." Tezuka tired again. Still no one spoke up. Tezuka didn't want to do this, but he had to now since no one was saying anything. "If it will make this any easier, Yukimura requested that Atobe, Sanada and I all do this as well whether we like it or not."

"Tezuka you are going to do this?" Fuji snickered, "I don't think you would be very appealing in a dress."

"Laugh it up Fuji because I've already volunteered you for this." Tezuka shot back.

"Fine then." Fuji replied

"So we only need one more?" Momoshiro asked.

"No two."

"But you said we had to enter three people."

"Yes, myself plus three others from the team." Tezuka explained, "Now who else?"

"Umm…I guess I could." Eiji shrugged, "But…only…if OCHIBI DOES IT TOO!"

"What Kikumaru-sempai I'm not doing this!" Echizen said defensivly backing away.

"But Ochibi you'd look really pretty in a dress and you already have a girly singing voice."

"Who says I have a girly singing voice!?" Echizen asked, "Make Buchou sing!"

"Echizen I'm not singing." Tezuka raised an eyebrow, "I'll do anything else but sing."

"Yea Ochibi, besides I bet Tezuka can't sing anyways."

"Who said I couldn't sing? I just said I wasn't going to." Tezuka frowned. He most certainly could sing, despite his lack of facial movement he could still produce a very nice sound.

"Because you can't sing high enough to sound like a girl." Fuji added.

"Exactly- wait I can too."

"Prove it." Fuji prodded with a slight smirk

"No."

"Then don't say you can't if you won't prove that you can Tezuka."

"I don't have to prove anything."

"Fine then, be a wuss."

"I'm going to be wearing a dress Fuji I think I'm allowed to act like a wuss if I want too."

"You aren't wearing one now."

"Fuji…"

"Yes?"

"fifty laps."

"Practice is over."

"Then tomorrow before and after practice, at BOTH morning and afternoon practice."

"That's two hundred laps."

"You point is what?"

"…that's more than fifty?"

"I'm captain so it doesn't matter."

"But-"

"I. Am. Captain. So. It. Doesn't. Matter." Tezuka glared

"I hope your padding falls out during the pageant."

"I hope your voice finally hits puberty during the pageant."

Fuji let out a melodramatic gasp backing away, everyone else in the room followed suit.

"You monster."

"You started it."

"Actually it was Eiji that did." Fuji corrected.

"Wait, Fujiko don't bring me into this!"

"But he's right Kikumaru-sempai, you did." Echizen smirked turning to walk out of the room. "If we are done I'm leaving."

"So it will be Echizen, Kikumaru, Fuji, and I entering right?" Tezuka asked.

"Yes." The other three said in unison.

"Which will make Momoshiro, Kaidoh, and Inui helpers. Oishi you'll be our school representative Emcee." Tezuka wrote down the names on a piece of paper and stuck it into his bag.

"Wait what?" Oishi asked.

"Every school must have a representative as an Emcee for the show." Tezuka explained standing up.

"I don't want to." Oishi pleaded.

"Too late, Oishi."

"But."

"Too. Late. Oishi." Tezuka said slowly with out looking back.

'_Shit…'_ Oishi thought.

**Blah so very boring, but I thought Fuji and Tezuka little banter was funny. Let's just hope that Fuji's voice doesnt' hit FINALLY hit puberty during the pageant that would be horrid...ly funny! Ah I'm terrible. XD  
I thought it would be best if they were in Senior high, since our womanless pageant only takes place in High School (Puberty messed with our guys BAD! But in a good way apparently)**

**animeo**

* * *


	3. Hyotei's Entries

**-Sigh- once again I've twisted this so much I'm going to hated for it, but only for one litle thing I guess. You'll see so please don't hurt me too bad. I think it explains Chotarou's extensive over amount of happiness. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Hmm this just might be an interesting proposition you are setting before us Atobe." Oshitari smirked rubbing his chin.

"Ore-sama isn't proposing anything; Ore-sama is telling you idiots that we are doing this."

"Who would want to dress up like girls and prance around on stage?" Shishido grumbled, "I don't."

"But, Shishido-san it's for a good cause." Otori placed a hand on Shishido's shoulder, "To forever unite our three teams into one giant amorphous friendship!"

"Chotarou…"

"Yes Shishido san?"

Shishido let out a sigh as he turned away, "Nothing, just don't say anything else."

"So you'll do it?"

"No."

"I'll cut myself again…" **(Where have we seen that before?)**

"Fine, I'll do it, only because I don't want you going into a recession." Shishido groaned looking away **(Dear god I'm going to hell for that one…)**

"ALRIGHT!" Otori smiled throwing away his razor blade. Said blade flew through the air in the direction of some poor unknown soul.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Oshitari yelled as he flailed towards the ground.

"Yuushi!" Mukahi gasped running to his doubles partner's side. "Yuushi are you ok?"

"This is why…I always wear protection." Oshitari pulled off his glasses, the blade lodged into the right lens.

"But you never do during-"

"I. Always. Wear. Protection. Gakuto." Oshitari stated.

"If you idiots are done, Ore-sama would like to continue with what he was saying." Atobe frowned.

"Whatever." Hiyoshi muttered, "Continue if you must."

"I'll remember that Piyo-chan. Anyways, we need three more people other than myself."

"Certainly are sure of yourself aren't you Atobe?" Shishido said.

"Please, as if Ore-sama needs other people to tell me that I'm beautiful. Sanada merely said that I have to participate as well."

"Since when do you listen to others?"

"…Ore-sama isn't listening to others I'm merely following a suggestion."

"You are being threatened aren't you?"

"…."

"You are."

"….Has ore-sama ever said how much he wishes to kill you right now? I believe I haven't so now I will…I HATE YOU AND WANT TO KILL YOU ALL SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY!" Atobe stormed out of the room.

"So…now what? Kabaji do you know?"

"Usu."

"So spill it, what do we have to do." Shishido ordered.

Kabaji held up three fingers.

"OH CHARADES! I LOVE CHARADES!" Jirou popped up jumping in front of Kabaji "Ok three words."

Kabaji shook his head no and motioned to the entire group of boys.

"Three people?"

Kabaji nodded and made a cross with his index fingers.

"Why are you treating us like we have the black plauge Kabaji?" Jirou asked giving a confused frown.

"I think he means plus, Jirou." Oshitari suggested, "Right Kabaji?" Kabaji nodded.

"Ok so three people plus?"

Kabaji lifted his right hand and placed it on his face, in a similar manner to the way that Atobe does.

"That's easy enough, Atobe." Shishido said.

"Wow Shishido-san you're so smart!" Otori grinned as he praised his sempai.

"It's nothing Chotarou." Shishido looked away with a slight blush.

"Kabaji you just restated what Atobe already told us."

"Usu…" Kabaji gave a dejected look.

"Aww, Oshitari you hurt Kabaji's feelings!" Jirou scolded as he gave the second year a hug, "its ok Kabaji. So we just need to pick three more people to participate?"

"Usu and an Emcee." Kabaji added.

"OMG IT SPOKE!" Mukahi yelled

"Gakuto, Kabaji isn't an it!" Jirou squeezed Kabaji harder.

"I suggest Jirou-sempai, Mukahi-sempai, and Shishido-san." Chotarou suggested

"What about Hiyoshi?" Oshitari said.

"HAHAHA that Mushroom head in dress BWAHAHAHA!" Mukahi laughed.

"You're just afraid I'll Gekokujou your ass Mukahi-sempai."

"We'll see who will be crushing who. Kabaji!"

"Usu."

"Put down Atobe, Jirou, Shishido, Hiyoshi, and I for the entries!" Mukahi ordered.

"U-usu…" Kabaji replied as he wrote the names down a piece of paper.

"Now we need an Emcee." Jirou thought as he looked around the remaining group. "Hmm…Oshitari, Chotarou, or Kabaji."

"I think Oshitari-sempai would be the better choice, I get nervous in front of large crowds." Chotarou suggested with a half way grin.

"Alright then Yuushi it is then!" Mukahi smiled. "You are going down mushroom head."

"Gekokujou Sempai." Hiyoshi glared back.

"Wait I thought we could only have four entries?"

"Shut up Otori, we have five that gives Hyotei a better chance of winning." Mukahi growled walking out of the club room.

* * *

**Yep in my massive love for Hyotei they get five entries because they feel like being cheaters! I was originally going to make Hiyoshi a helper but then I reconsidered. I might change my mind again, Or I might not...OH WELL! hehehe**

**animeo**


	4. Rikkai's Entries

**saa, Rikkai's entries. Just so you guys know I think I might have been smoking someting at the time and didn't know it. ENJOY!**

* * *

"Come on Niou-sempai!" For the past twenty minutes, Marui and Kirihara had both been trying to convince Niou into joining the pageant.

"Not no, but Heeeell no! I'm not dressing up just so you perverts can get a kick!" Niou yelled back.

"That's ironic for a perverted trickster to be calling us perverts." Marui smirked looking over at Kirihara.

"Shut up lardo, anyways I'm not doing that!"

"You've done stupider things before." Sanada sighed.

"And look at it this way you finally get the satisfaction of taking Sanada down with you." Marui pointed at the poor Fukubuchou.

"Hey!"

"Hmm…that is an interesting development." Niou put on his thinking face, "Buuut I think I'll keep with my masculinity,"

"But Niou-kun, would you do it for me?" Yagyuu tried taking off his glasses revealing adorable sparkly eyes, "Please, Niou-kun."

"Aaahh…so adorable can't look away…" Niou cringed, "Why do I love such a manipulative person again?"

"Because we balance each other?" Yagyuu frowned replacing his glasses.

"Haha FREE FROM THE LOOK!" Yagyuu quickly removed his glasses once again, "DAMN!" Niou looked away.

"Come on Niou, just agree already!"

"NEVER!" Niou yelled running outside of the club house and around the corner to the back.

"He is absolutely hopeless." Sanada muttered watching the retreating figure.

"No, he's going to do this whether he likes it or not." Yagyuu frowned taking careful steady strides after Niou.

"Oh my looks like we are having a lovers spat." Yukimura chuckled walking up.

"I never thought that Yagyuu would be so forceful in making Niou do this."

"The scorn of a gentleman is not a force to be reckoned with." Jackal commented.

'_AH HIROSHI STOP THAT! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BEND THAT WAY!'_

'_Do you want me to use your head as ball Niou-kun?' _Came the ever even toned voice of the gentleman.

'_NO PLEASE STOP HIROSHI I'M BEGGING YOU!'_

"Oh my I think someone is being disciplined."

"About damn time." Sanada grimaced walking off.

'_Oh dear god! Hiroshi stop it! I'll enter I'll enter!'_

'_Glad to know that you see things my way Niou-kun.'_

Yagyuu returned to the inside of the club room with Niou in hand right behind him. Nothing looked physically wrong with the Petenshi but the look on his face told all that had happened. Wide eyes and a minor twitched that would all be explained to a therapist years down the road after two nervous breakdowns, and failed suicide attempt.

"Niou-sempai are you alright?" Kirihara asked, genuinely worried about Niou's well being, but only slightly.

"I'm fine Bakaya…" Niou replied in a high pitched voice while glaring at Yagyuu, "Just plain…peachy!"

"Oh…o-ok Niou-sempai." Kirihara backed away behind Yukimura.

"Well, now thanks to Yagyuu, I think we can now count on Niou being an entry. That will give us Sanada, Marui, Kirihara, and Niou all together." Yukimura wrote down the names, "and I think Jackal should be our Emcee representative."

"Our what?" Jackal questioned, "I don't remember signing up for that."

"Oh…well…You are now Jackal." Yukimura shrugged. He didn't particularly care if Jackal wanted to or not, this was his idea so everyone else _had_ to role with it because he was the damn child of God here!

* * *

Omake: (What happened between Niou and Yagyuu?)

"Niou-kun, why are you making this difficult on yourself?" Yagyuu asked coming around the corner of the building, a very stern look on his face.

"I don't want to Hiroshi, why don't you dress up like a girl you already act like one." Niou spat back crossing his arms over his chest. Yagyuu's glare hardened.

"I act like a girl huh?" Yagyuu reached over and twisted Niou's arm.

"AH, HIROSHI STOP THAT! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BEND THAT WAY!" Niou tried to pull away, that only added to his discomfort. Really did Yagyuu have to be this anal about his wanting to keep his masculinity in tact?

"Niou-kun, do I seem like a girl now?"

"Well you are acting as PMSy as one!"

"Do you want me to use your head as a ball Niou-kun?"

"NO! HIROSHI I'M BEGGING YOU!" Niou cringed as Yagyuu tightened his grip, "OW! I NEED THAT ARM! WITH OUT IT GAH ALONE TIME WILL BE USELESS!_"_

"Good, since you'll be having a lot more of it, if you don't agree to this."

"Oh dear God! Please stop Hiroshi. I'll enter! I'll enter!

"Glad to know you see things my way Niou-kun." Yagyuu smiled releasing the boys arm.

"Bitch."

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Nothing, my dear Hiro-chan, my angel of the golf course!" Niou grinned cheekily as he was pulled back towards the front of the club house by Yagyuu.

"That's what I thought you said."

* * *

**-giggly- I feel sorry for Niou now. I wonder what he'll do to get Yagyuu back hmmm -.O coolio...**

**animeo**


	5. Sizing up the Competition

**So yea, since I couldn't think up enough crack for there to be three individual chapters here is just one for all three schools. Enjoy**

**Also I DO NOT Own the The Man Song (its pretty freakin awesome you should go and listen to it!)**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

"Alright I have the names of who is participating from Hyotei, and Rikkai." Tezuka entered the club room the next morning holding a piece of paper. "For Hyotei we have; Atobe, Akutagawa Jirou, Mukahi Gakuto, Shishido Ryou, and Hiyoshi Wakashi. Oshitari Yuushi will be their representative Emcee."

"Kangaroo boy?" Eiji whined throwing his arms up in the air, "Why him? I mean anyone else is fine but HIM!?"

"It's alright Eiji; you'll beat him for sure at this." Oishi placed a hand on the red head's shoulder with a grin.

"Mukahi-san is fine but Gekokujou person thing." Echizen asked.

"Mushroom head?" Fuji tried.

"YEA HIM! Why him?"

"I didn't pick the entries." Tezuka said, "Now for Rikkai there is Sanada Genichirou, Kirihara Akaya, Marui Bunta, and Niou Masaharu. Kuwahara Jackal as their Emcee."

"Niou Masaharu? Isn't that the fuzzy grey headed guy that likes to dress up like other people?" Taka-san asked.

"The very one, though according to Sanada Yagyuu-kun had to persuade him into entering." Tezuka replied looking at the paper again making sure that there wasn't anything he had missed. "Oh, the pageant is a week from tomorrow." He added.

"A WEEK?"

"Yep, better get to work." Tezuka mentally snickered at the group, _'oh shit that means I have to get to work. Damn you Yukimura!'_

* * *

"Bwahaha you're kidding right? Rikkai and Seigaku have some weak entries!" Mukahi laughed.

"Ore-sama must agree with you there. Niou Masaharu maybe the trickster of the courts but is nothing when it come to the beauty and power of Hyotei." Atobe flicked his hair back with a satisfied smirk.

"To bad you hair isn't long anymore Shishido-san." Otori sighed poking at Shishido's head.

"What do you mean by that? My hair looks fine," Shishido curtly asked stepping away.

"Nothing, its just you might have a better chance at winning if you hair was long again that's all." Otori apologized. Shishido stared at the younger boy; he really didn't have any form of a rebuttal to the truth. So he left it at saying nothing at all.

"So…Oishi-kun is going to be Seishun's Emcee?" Oshitari asked grabbing the paper from Mukahi's hands, "Very interesting. Very interesting indeed."

"He's going to choke." Shishido smirked with a small laugh to boot.

"Shishido-san that isn't nice," Otori chided, "I think Oishi-san will do fine."

"Yea sure if you believe in happy ponies and Santa Clause."

"I hear that they devil of Rikkai Kirihara Akaya still believe in Santa." Oshitari mused.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Mukahi and Shishido exclaimed in unison clutching their sides in complete and total hilarity.

"What a scary person, what's next he'll invite the Easter bunny over for tea?"

* * *

Kirihara let out a minute sneeze as Sanada began reading the list of entries for Hyotei and Seishun; everyone turned and looked at him as though he had committed some heinous crime of sorts.

"Sorry?"

"As I was saying, those are the entries." Sanada concluded setting the paper down.

"Umm Sanada-kun you didn't say anything you started to and then Kirihara-kun sneezed then that was it. You never said who was participating from the other schools." Yagyuu said pushing up his glasses. Sanada glared back at him.

"It doesn't matter I'm Fukubuchou, so…what I say goes?" Sanada looked over at Yukimura.

"Not really…" Yukimura shook his head slowly.

"Let's all sing what is going on in our poor Fukubuchou's head right now shall we?" Niou grinned slinking over next to Sanada. "I'll start it off _'__What I say goes around here! ... Right out the window.'_

'_And I don't want to hear a lot of whining! ... So I'll shut up.' _Yagyuu chimed in immediately after Niou.

'_The sooner you learn whose boss around here! ... The sooner you can give me my orders, dear.'Cause I am the head honcho! ... but it's all in my head.' _Marui and Jackal sang in unison with Kirihara bringing up the rear singing, _'Because a man's got to do what a man's got to do! ... And I'm going to do what you tell me to.Because I'm top dog around here! ... but I've been neutered!'_

Niou couldn't help but laugh as he rolled on the ground, "Brilliant Akaya, Absolutely priceless!"

"The one time he actually praises the boy and it's for crude lyrics degrading Sanada-kun." Yagyuu sighed; Niou really was a tribute to most of the teenage male population.

Yukimura tried, hard as he might, to stifle his own laughter. Sadly, mostly on Sanada's part, Yukimura let the gates open and out came the cheerful sound.

Sanada hated his team at times; this was one of the top. "I hate life…" He muttered pulling his cap down.

"Awe buck up emo kid it's alright, just rub some dirt on it and you'll be OK!"

"Niou…Just shut the FUCK UP!" Sanada yelled slamming the door close behind him.

"Oh, someone here is pissed." Niou sighed as his laughter died out.

"He'll get over it…if I tell him to that is." Yukimura grinned as he too left the room. This only cause for another surge of laughter to come forth, after the door closed.

"So does anyone know who is entering from Hyotei or Seishun?" Marui asked popping his gum.

"Nope, Sanada-bitchy-pants took the paper with her."

"Him…" Yagyuu corrected.

"_Her"_

"…"

"He he I win." Niou rubbed his hands together. "Tacos rule."

"Tacos?"

"Si, Senor…"

"So…"

"Oh yea…I spoke Spanish, be in awe of my…spanishy-ness" Niou smirked.

"Adieu, Niou-kun." Yagyuu sighed walking out the door.

"Shit, he pulled out French; I don't know French…FUCK!"

* * *

**YEAH! I don't know. I'm typing with a bandage on my hand because i have a stress fracture or something like that in my wrist, ANYWHO It's just weird to type with one on...I'm actually tell you guys this for lack of anything else better to do with this section at the time. I don't really have any comments to say on this chapter. It was just my utter ramblings and things such as that.  
Niou apparently likes calling his teammates girls when he is the one dressing up as one. I do like how everyone just sorta 'made up' the lyrics on the 'spot' sorta. Oh yea I gave Kirihara the best ones! Oh well I guess I do have some comments...yea...  
Reviews are nice, I love the amount of feed back I've been getting on this story. I AM SORRY THAT YUKIMURA ISN'T PARTICiPATING! OK GOSH! He's the one that must sit out in the audience and laugh at all those who are beneath him (which is anyone and everyone in this case) so yea... You might get to see him dress up...I don't know...**

**animeo**


	6. Teaming up and Rants about Teammates

**Bwahaha my thoughts have come to haunt you all AGAIN! teehee, I think this is all moving along quite nicely don't you guys? Enjoy!**

* * *

"Well Tezuka, since you can't sing like a girl, what are you going to do?" Fuji chortled.

"…"

"Tezuka?"

"Something, Fuji." Was all Tezuka said as he turned the page of his textbook. Study period was a good thing, but only when you did not have Fuji Syuusuke sitting next to you flipping through girly magazines.

"Ne, Tezuka what do you think of that color?" Fuji pointed to a rather bright pink dress.

"No."

"What about this?" a dark brown this time. "I think it would make my eyes POP!"

"Hn…" _'Hopefully enough to make them 'pop' out of your head!'_

"You don't care at all do you Tezuka?"

Tezuka promptly closed his textbook and stood up from his chair, looked down at Fuji with a minor glare, and said, "I'm sorry Fuji, but you are competition at the moment. Do you think I'm stupid enough to help the enemy?"

"Eh…"

"The answer is no I'm not Fuji," Tezuka turned away and began to leave the room.

"…bitch…" Fuji muttered under his breath, "Either way Tezuka all of us, meaning Eiji, Echizen, yourself and I, will all be shopping tomorrow for dresses. It would be nice if you would come with us, so that it would be less awkward on yourself."

"Fine." Tezuka replied before stepping out the door.

* * *

Niou sighed as he tossed magazine of formal dresses to the side. How long had he and Kirihara been looking? He could not remember, apparently, it was not that important then if he could not.

"Niou-sempai, what about this one?" Kirihara pointed to a disgustingly pale green dress that gathered to the side with a big shiny crystal thingy.

"OH GOD NO!" Niou cringed making a retching sound as he did so.

"Well what about the color?"

"You know what? I tried so hard! We are Ouja Rikkai Dai the second strongest tennis team in the nation at the moment for Christ's fucking sake, and what do I get? I get cosplay!" Sanada ranted throwing an accusing finger at Niou. "I get cross dressing!" This time the finger was pointed at Yukimura and Kirihara. "I get Yaoi pairings!" Jackal and Marui where the targets this time, all they were doing was just sitting there holding hands how wrong was that? "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? MY LIFE SUCKS! I hope you're happy you…little…BASTARDS!" Sanada seethed throwing his cap down on the ground. "AND NOW MY FUCKING HAT IS DIRTY! THANK YOU ALL AND GOOD FUCKING NIGHT!"

"Tarunfuckindoru" Niou spat back as he returned to the dresses, "No Bakaya Bright sea foam green is a hideous color throw it out!"

"My my, I think Genichirou needs to find a new word." Yukimura clicked his tongue.

"Meh, I think he's finally growing up in the world!" Niou sighed, "I'm so proud."

"Anyone would go insane if they were called your child." Marui grimaced.

"I know its great isn't it?"

"…"

"Any who! You Bakaya are going to go with Marui, Sanada, and I to find dresses so your book is no longer needed." Niou smirked pulling the book out of Kirihara's hand.

"Does Fukubuchou know about this?"

"Oh yes he does, I made sure of it." Yukimura interjected. "I most certainly did."

-Sanada Household-

"Stupid idiots making me get my hat all dirty and stuff." Sanada grumbled setting his book bag down on the floor of his bedroom. He had homework and lots of it, screw the fact that he had just walked out of practice without informing anyone. Pulling out his textbooks, he noticed something on one of them.

'_Genichirou, just wanted to tell you that you have to go shopping tomorrow with the others so that you can find a dress, Seiichi.'_

"That bastard wrote on my book cover?" Sanada glowered as he continued to stare at the words. He looked up to his other textbooks and saw that the same thing was written on each one in big bold writing. He really did not have a choice did he? With out his textbooks he could not do his homework, so he could not claim that he did not see the messages since he had to do the work. Yukimura certainly was the crafty type at times.

"Damn…"

* * *

"Tezuka where are you? Ore-sama has been sitting outside of your puny school longer than what he should." Atobe sighed into the cell phone. Though he did not like it, Atobe was truly at a loss at what he should do for this stupid pageant, and he knew that Tezuka would be in the same boat. Therefore, what better way to fix his own problem then to possibly help Tezuka in the process.

"I'm almost there hold on." Tezuka replied as he closed the phone.

"Gah, he hung up on me!" Atobe glared at the phone, wishing that if he glared hard enough that Tezuka's head might explode via mental waves. Sadly, this was not the case; Tezuka arrived not a few minutes later.

"Ore-sama will have you know Tezuka that I do not appreciate being hung up on."

"I'm sorry Atobe, but you know that I dislike talking on the phone." Tezuka replied as he slide into the seat next to Atobe.

"Yes well, Ore-sama finds that to be a very poor excuse for you behavior just then. How do you expect me to partner with you if you keep hanging up?"

"I was just a few minutes away Atobe."

"It doesn't matter now…" Atobe sighed as he 'casually' laid an arm around Tezuka's shoulders.

"Atobe."

"Fine, Ore-sama shall keep his hands to himself then." Removing the arm Atobe silently cursed to himself for his rotten luck of Tezuka apparently having a bad day in some sort.

Now even though Tezuka had told Fuji that he would not aid the enemy, why was he and Atobe working together? That was simple; when one is going into a competition with one's boyfriend, it is only natural that they help each other. So technically Tezuka was aiding his boyfriend, not the enemy.

'_Everything works out in the end for me.'_

* * *

**Wow poor Sanada. Oh if you guys didn't notice Niou did say Tarundoru just with fuckin' in the middle of it...so I guess that means he said That's fucking enough? Or something to that effect...whatever. As always my Rikkai section was the best out of all three. Hyotei this time was only represented by Atobe which is ok I guess. Reviews are amazing, and I truely appreciate every single one of you guys that are reading this and are enjoying this fic! THANKS!**

**animeo**


	7. How hard could it be?

**I swera if my chapters get any shorter I'm going to scream. I guess it's my own fault though. My wrist is still screwed up so it took a little longer than usual to get this chapter out and such. It hurts to type at times and others it doesn't it just all depends really. It's especially hard with this brace on my hand too. Oh well Enjoy!**

* * *

"Yukimura-sempai, this is weird. Why do we have to shop here?" Kirihara asked as the group stood in front of an extremely girly store. _'MisaMisa's house of Fabric.'_ was the name of the festering infection of a hell hole. Despite the usual clothing choice of the model, gothic Lolita, the store was laced with bright pinks and white frills, practically screaming "I'll-make-this-the-most-awkward-shopping-trip-for-all-who-enter!"

"I think if we stare at it any longer than what we already have, then we might go into a diabetic coma." Niou cringed as he shielded his eyes from all the happy ponies and lollipops that seeped from the doorways of the establishment.

"OH MY GOD MISAMISA!" Marui yelled throwing his sucker down to the ground as he ran inside.

"Don't…say…anything." Jackal clenched his fists as he slowly started towards what he thought might be his doom.

"MisaMisa? I heard she's just a ditzy whore." Niou smirked as he took a step towards the store. A flash of red came dashing out in front of him making Niou loose balance and fall backwards onto Yagyuu.

"You monster! MisaMisa is only the cutest model on the market right now!" Marui explained, "She's even dating a really hot college guy!"

"She is huh?" Niou gave a mock nod of intrigue. "He must be one lucky son of bitch then."

"I KNOW!"

"SHUT UP STUPID I WAS BEING SARCASTIC! I don't give a rat's ass about some stupid, ditzy, I'm-a-whore breathing bitch with fail-tails!"

"Fail-tails, Niou-kun?" Yagyuu asked from behind him. Niou had yet to retrieve himself from the ground and liked his comfortable seat at the moment.

"Yes! Those things that she has on her head, they aren't pig tails they're like half pig tails which makes them fail-tails!"

"Quail-tails?" Jackal tried.

"Nope, she's not cool enough for the usage of quail." Niou shook his head.

"STOP MAKING FUN OF MISAMISA!" Marui yelled.

"You really do like her don't you?"

"I want to marry her!" Marui sighed dreamily as he stared up at Misa's picture on the sign of the store.

"Jackass." Jackal muttered.

"Awe, poor little jackal. All unloved and whatnot." Yagyuu said pushing Niou off of him so that he could get up and regain feeling to his legs.

"Any who, who would be desperate, or stupid enough to date that?" Niou pointed to the sign.

"Actually," Marui pulled out his phone, "Yagami Raito was top in his graduating class in senior high, and is top in his class at university. He's studying law so that he can follow in his father's footsteps and become chief of the police taskforce in Tokyo."

"Stalker much?"

"I'd marry him before MisaMisa though. He's amazing! LOOK LOOK I even have pictures." Marui shoved his phone into Niou's face, "See see see see see!"

"Hmm…" Niou rubbed his chin as he looked at the picture. "I'd say he's a twenty." He shrugged and handed the phone back.

"On a scale of what?"

"One to ten."

"So…"

"Oh yea he transcends the number ten."

"Wah, Niou you think he's pretty too? YEA!" Marui looked at him with hopeful eyes; Niou heard a small coughing sound from behind him.

"Though, he is only half as pretty as Hiro-chan." The coughing stopped. _'Whew crisis avoided, Hiroshi's got to stop this bullshit.'_

"Alright everyone let's get going," Yukimura ordered walking towards the store, everyone followed despite their massive displeasure in doing so. Sanada stood there rooted to his spot.

"Sanada-kun, what are you waiting for? It's better to get this over with then wait until later when you are by yourself." Yagyuu stated looking back.

"My pride as a man is on the line here Yagyuu. Unlike the rest of you that actually means something to me." Sanada _almost_ pouted crossing his arms over his chest.

"Suit yourself." Yukimura sighed. "Just remember Genichirou, it's your loss."

"Fook." Sanada grumbled.

"Fook? I think the proper term that you are thinking of is Fuck, Sanada."

"Sorry Niou-kun the correct term we where looking for is pie…pie…" Yagyuu corrected throwing away some cards.

"What the hell? PIE?"

"PIE!!" Marui's eyes widened and his pupils dilated as he thought of the wondrous dessert.

"MisaMisa…" Niou grinned.

"I WANT TO EAT A PIE WITH MISAMISA IN IT! THEN MAKE HOT MAN SEX LOVE WITH YAGAMI RAITO!" Marui yelled in a half trance.

"Umm...sure Marui...if you say so..." Niou twitched, "Come on let's go before he decides to eat us along with her." Niou grabbed Yagyuu's arm and pulled him inside the store.

* * *

**ALRIGHT! If you guys havn't noticed I absolutely hate Misa Amane from Death Note, and I love Raito (Light...). I was watching the second Death Note movie when I thought of this since Misa was in it so freakin much GRRR! I loved L this time around, he and Ryuk made me smile so freakin much its like insane! "Oh and Light...Keep it real!" - Ryuk. "There are CAMERAS watching every part of this building..." - L. Wow this totally has nothing to do with PoT...**

**I just ADORE making fun of Sanada! its just so easy and fun! and Marui wanting to pie with Misa in it made me giggle.**

**animeo**


	8. To pick out a dress? Very very very hard

**Yea! FINALLY a chaper that is like my usual length! -sigh- man it feels good to finally put out 1,000+ words. I know it's not a lot, but it's like my normal amount per chapter unless something calls for a special reason. This is mainly Rikkai and Hyotei...no Seishun yet. I've got to work them in somehow. ENJOY!**

* * *

"Oh come on!" Marui whined, "You and Sanada both just need to get over yourselves, Niou." This was getting absolutely ridiculous. How hard could it be to come out of a changing stall with a dress on? Marui had done it with no problems. A nice dark green gown.

"Don't lump me in with him!" Niou and Sanada said in unison pointing over at the other's stall over the small wall that separated them.

"You know Genichirou, if you let Niou get out of his stall before you then you are allowing him to win, and members of Rikkaidai do not lose. Understand Genichirou? You are allowing Niou to best you by getting out here first." Yukimura sighed leaning up against the door next to Sanada's stall.

"Bullshit, He'd never leave his stall." Sanada huffed back.

"Then prove that Genichirou."

"Too late Sanada," Niou laughed stepping out of his changing room. "Oh and I hate you all just so you know, especially Hiroshi…YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" Niou pointed an accusing finger at said boy.

"I think you look pretty Niou-kun."

"Shut up Hiroshi, this is all your fault to begin with, so who cares what you think."

"Who in god's name thought you would look good in chocolate brown?" Marui asked lifting up part of Niou's dress. "It's hideous."

"I know who did pick this out?" Niou asked looking around at the group, "well, fess up who is trying to make me look like a giant S'more? Cause I think Marui over here is about to take a bite out of me if I stay in this any longer."

No one answered.

"I hate Yellow…"

"Gah, gosh Genichirou, are you trying to put me back in the hospital?" Yukimura's split second panicked ended as he got a look at Sanada. "Yea you're right, Yellow doesn't look good on you, well at least not one that is that bright."

"You look like a sunspot Sanada." Niou laughed. Sanada sent a sharp side glare at the trickster.

"Come on Niou, I'm not afraid to beat the living shit out of you today just try and push my buttons some more." The came with ease to Sanada's already sharp tongue.

"Alrighty then Mr. I'm-gonna-act-like-a-prissy-high-strung-prick. BRING IT!"

"Hey hey hey you two, at least get out of the dresses first." Jackal pushed his way in between the two boys. "Thos things are expensive, and I don't know about you two, but I don't want to pay for some bloodied and ripped up dresses."

"Later then." Niou straightened his back up into a perfect line, standing at his full height he glared at Sanada.

"Later." Sanada gave a curt nod has he turned back to his changing stall, Niou followed suit and began to undress.

"Fine me something else Hiroshi!" Niou threw the dress over.

"Careful Niou-kun, I'll find something else." Hiroshi took the dress and hung it up on the hanger that was…well…hanging on the door! _'So careless with such things.'_

"Marui you need to change as well." Jackal said pushing the boy into the dressing room.

"Fine fine, at least I'm done."

"Hey."

"What?" Niou and Marui replied.

"Anyone else notice how we haven't been getting any strange looks from any of the store clerks?" Sanada asked carefully hanging the hideous yellow dress over the top of the door.

"I actually….didn't?" Niou's eyes widened significantly at the realization. He had been so preoccupied wit worrying about what he looked like; he hadn't been paying attention to the other things going on around him.

"Niou…_you_ didn't notice anything?" Marui gasped.

"Shut up." Niou shoved his door open and walked down the hall way to the main store area.

"Sure thing princess." Sanada sighed walking out as well.

"Princess." Marui snickered poking his head out.

* * *

"Atobe I know you like staying up on the current styles in clothing and such, but must it be applied to your dress shopping as well?" Oshitari drawled staring up at the store. The very same store that poor Rikkai was suffering through.

"MisaMisa!" Jirou and Mukahi squealed.

"I LOVE HER!" Jirou yelled.

"Not as much as I love Saito Takumi." Mukahi grinned.

"Or Kato Kazuki!"

"You two are pathetic." Shishido scowled looking away from the fan boys.

"Shishido-san, why is the store emitting such a bright and colorful light filled with only things that little elementary grade school girls dream of?" Otori had to squint in order to even be able to see his sempai through the blinding light.

"Don't look directly at it Chotarou, it will damage your perfect eyes."

"Yes, Shishido-san!" Otori replied cheerfully, still remaining forever oblivious to all things going on around him.

'_The idiot still doesn't get it?'_ Everyone thought simultaneously.

"Alright let's get this over with," Atobe began to walk forward.

"YEA!" Jirou smiled running forward ahead of the group.

"Damn him and his energy sometimes." Shishido cursed while adjusting his hat.

"Don't be that way Shishido-san; it can't be all that bad." Otori placed a hand on Shishido's shoulder lightly and beamed a smile at the older boy as he pushed to door open.

"What the hell Akaya? Get into the god damn changing room!" Marui grunted. Kirihara refused to give in. His sempai may have fallen, but there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell right now that he was going to be wearing a dress, much less in front of other people. What would his family think?

"No, stop pushing me sempai, you'll break my back!"

"We wouldn't have to worry about that if you would just stop acting like a wuss and get in the damn room!"

"I am not a wuss!"

"Then go inside!" Marui pushed harder this time.

"Move, let the master work." Niou smirked pushing Marui aside.

"Oh Akaya," Niou leaned in close to Kirihara's ear.

"I'm not moving." Kirihara huffed.

"I'll rape you if you don't."

"I'll lose my virginity at some point during my life, though I may not like it if you are the one to do it Niou-sempai then so be it." He shrugged.

"Well…damn…What if I maim _and rape_ you?"

"A human being can't survive without some form of pain. Besides I've always heard that sex is one part pain and one part sweat."

"Masochist."

"You bet."

"Fuck it, I've got nothing then." Niou threw his arms up in the air in defeat.

"Akaya."

"Yes Fukubuchou?"

"I'll hit you with my ring hand if you don't get in there."

"Yes sir!" Kirihara mock saluted before marching inside the room. Sanada promptly closed the door behind him and didn't move until he heard the satisfying click of the lock.

"Jackass." Niou grumbled, "A rink hand scares him, but no raping and maiming?"

"It's called authority Niou, and that is something that you two do not have over him."

"But we're his sempai that automatically makes us an authority over him!" Marui tried.

"Not the point." Sanada chided, "I'm fukubuchou so I hold higher standing in his eyes."

"Whatever," Niou scoffed walking off with this hands shoved into his pockets.

Shishido turned immediately on his heels and tried to leave the store. Anyone would after witnessing that kind of sight.

"Shishido-san, where are you going?" Otori asked.

"Somewhere that these lunatics aren't."

* * *

**Yep no Seishun...or Yanagi...DANG IT I FORGOT HIM AGAIN! I'll get him in there some way or another. Sorry guys but with Region Choir coming up (Wooo Alto!), our school musical 'footloose', homework, projects, and other stuff I've been like...killing myself as of late because of all my stuff. I'm trying really I am! Your reviews, as always, make me so very happy. I love logging into my email and finding like four or five reviews!**

**animeo**


	9. Who knew Toys where dangerous

**Yay another chapter! It makes me so very happy to get another one out. Also, my wrist is a little bit better it still hurts to bend it at certain angles but I can type now! SO WOO ON THAT!  
In other news I didn't make it into Honor Choir (I missed it by four spots!) I sucked anyways I didn't even do the freakin sight reading, and that was simple now that i think about it, I was like 'OMG I can't do this!' I was honestly on the verge of tears by the end of Saturday. Luckily I didn't because my Girlfriend was right there so I was like 'NO I CAN'T CRY!' So I didn't. haha I'mma weirdo I know.**

**ANYWHO ENJOY!**

* * *

"Before we get anywhere near that door over there Fuji-sempai may I ask something?" Echizen grimaced as a flying pink flower, daffodil thingy hit him in the eye.

"Yes Echizen what might that be?" Fuji asked crouching down behind the dumpster with the rest of the scared group of boys.

"Why must we shop at a place that throws flowers, candy, toy ponies, and rainbows at its customers?"

"Oh that's just for the magical effect; it's supposed to draw little children in so that the great Amane Misa can eat them in privacy, that's how she stays so adorable and why her lips are always so red and chapped. It's the blood of all the lost children is what most say." He smiled a toothy grin at the boy. "And she just loves cute little boys like you Echizen, I bet she could just EAT you up!"

All of the color drained from Echizen's face as he stared at his sempai. Everyone else followed suit, Tezuka even discolored a little bit despite knowing it was all a huge lie.

"I think we should find someplace else to shop…" Echizen muttered.

"Awe but Echizen, this is _the_ premiere place to go dress shopping." Fuji mock pouted. "It will be loads of fun."

'_Loads of fun my ass.'_ Tezuka thought while grabbing Echizen by the arm.

"Buchou?"

"Come on, let's get this over with." He said without looking back.

"Buchou, you'll be killed!" Momoshiro yelled after them as items continued to be pelted in their direction.

'_Pansies.'_ Tezuka grabbed Echizen by the waist and hoisted him up in front of him. "Remember this is all for the safety of your Buchou, Echizen." He said using the poor boy as a human shield.

"GAH OW OW SHIT, FUCK. I HATE YOU! GO DIE OW IN A OW FUCKING FIRE!" Echizen yelled trying to curl himself up into a tiny ball. He opened his eyes only for a moment before a small child's toy was lodged into it. "MOTHER FUCKER!" He screamed trying to claw it out.

"My well doesn't that sound delightful." Fuji laughed before standing up and grabbing Taka-san by the arm. "Come on I'm too fragile to go under such extreme conditions, will you shield me Taka-san?"

"B-But Echizen was just pummeled by whatever those things are!"

"Not the point, get moving." Fuji shoved the larger boy in front of him as they began to walk towards the massive store.

"Momo, you must protect me!" Eiji yelled.

"Kikumaru-sempai, what about Oishi-sempai?"

"He's just an Emcee it doesn't matter if he gets hurt or not. While I, on the other hand, must stay cute and sickeningly irresistible to all those who are around me for the pageant." he smiled.

'_Eiji has been around Fuji WAY to much!' _Oishi thought, _'HEY WHY DON'T I MATTER?'_

"I'll protect you Kaidoh!" Inui valiantly offered.

"Ugh…thanks Inui-sempai."

"WAIT WHAT ABOUT ME?" Oishi yelled.

"NO ONE CARES!" They all yelled back.

* * *

"Shishido-sempai, please wait a moment!" Otori called after him.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL? I'M A DAMN HUMAN SHIELD NOW?" Echizen yelled busting through the door and pushing Shishido over.

"Echizen, language."

"HELL NO!"

"I told you it was all for my safety." Tezuka calm stated walking through the open door way.

"Yea, your safety what about mine?" Echizen pointed to his left eye, "You see this? What the hell are we going to do about this stupid toy in my eye?"

"Rub some dirt on it and you'll be fine." He replied looking down to see Shishido near his feet. "Looks like Hyotei is here."

"Oh and Rikkai." Fuji smiled pointing at the group near the dressing rooms. Kirihara was arguing about the color and style of the dress that Marui and Jackal had picked out, something along the lines of _'That's way to damn short you perverts!' _Or something to that effect.

"Ah Tezuka, Ore-sama is glad to see that you made it…as did the rest of your motley crew." Atobe smirked looking over the group behind him before stopping on Echizen. "What pfft…if god's name happened….TO YOU!" He tried to hold back his laughter as best he could under the circumstances.

"SHUT UP!" Echizen tried to extract the toy again but couldn't make it budge without hurting his own self anymore that what he already had. "Damn…Buchou my eye is starting to swell and bleed."

"Would you just stop complaining for one moment?"

Everyone stared at Tezuka as though he had just killed someone.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything." Came the broken replies from the people around him.

"Ore-sama shall help you with your search Tezuka, as Ore-sama knows that you need help." Atobe grabbed the aforementioned boy's elbow and dragged him away from the others.

"I feel so lonely and vulnerable without Tezuka here." Eiji muttered as a chill ran up his spine.

"Yea it feels like we are missing something now." Taka-san sighed looking down at the ground.

"OH WHAT ARE YOU GUYS IN LOVE WITH HIM OR SOMETHING?" Oishi yelled pushing his way through the doors; he had finally arrived after braving the flowers and toys alone.

"Only slightly." they replied with a heavy sigh as they walked forward into the depths of the store.

Yanagi stood behind a rack and dresses and laughed quietly to himself as he _actually wrote down_ what was going on in the store. _'Yagyuu will love to use this for his fan fiction writing…'_

* * *

**Yea Yanagi was there! ALONG WITH SEISHUN! WOOO! Oh yea Yagyuu totally writes fan fiction and we all damn well know it! I bet he even writes smut too in which case he uses his sex with Niou as insperation XD. Did I ever mention how big of a weirdo I am? I don't think I have so let me say it now (or again...) I like yaoi, yuri, crack, invisioning certain guys I see during the day in Yaoi pairings...oh and I'm a weirdo ..... haha**

**Until next time you guys....**

**animeo**


	10. Strapless Dresses and Lemon Pie?

**YEA ANOTHER CHAPTER DONE! I'm pleased to say that this is ALMOST entirely Atobe and Tezuka for all of you TezukaxAtobe fans out there. Though I've yet to get to that big idea I've been given thanks to someone! I just haven't worked it in yet, but I will....oooooh how I will XD It will be EPICALLY AMAZING...when I finally get it in there. Either way it doesn't matter right now. So do read and enjoy!**

* * *

"Now Tezuka, I personally would put you in something similar to a burgundy, but that's just me." Atobe said leading the other boy about the store close to that of child pulling a rag doll through the dirt.

"As long as it isn't anything outrageous Atobe."

"Of course not, Something strapless."

"What?"

"Need I repeat myself? I suppose I must since you obviously weren't listening to my magnificent voice. I think you would look nice in something strapless," Atobe stated picking up a dress. "You have nice shoulders Tezuka and Ore-sama would like for you to show them off." He frowned at the design of it and replaced the dress back on to the rack it had come from.

"Sleeves are a practical thing."

"Not on dresses they aren't, unless they are professionally tailored to the wearer." Atobe corrected.

"You certainly do know a lot."

"It's my mother's fault, she goes on her rants of clothing and dresses and I'm forced to listen to them." He sighed looking over at Tezuka, "It really is torturous."

"TEZUKA! ATOBE!" The whispered voice startled Atobe causing him to latch forcefully onto Tezuka's arm cutting off the circulation too it.

"Atobe, get off."

"Sorry Tezuka, the touchy feely rule must be broken until Ore-sama feels he is out of danger…PROTECT ME!"

'_FUCK NO!' _Tezuka would have shrieked had he not been feeling the throbbing pain in his arm because of Atobe's firm grip. Looking down he noticed his fingers turning an odd and sickening color of bluish red.

"Atobe, seriously my hand-"

"TEZUKA!" the voice came again, oddly it reminded Tezuka of Sanada only high pitched and…squeaky it was rather amusing at some point or another.

"Sanada?"

"Down here!"

Tezuka and Atobe looked down seeing a mass of yellow and chiffon coming out from underneath one of the racks, and something else resembling a type of shoe, possibly a pump of some form? They didn't know. Tezuka bent down and moved some of the dresses out of the way revealing a very pissed looking Sanada that was clad in a very pretty well fitted dress.

"Don't. Say. Anything." He glared as Atobe stifled a small laugh.

"I know it's pointless to ask, but why are you hiding Sanada?" Tezuka asked sending a sideways glare at Atobe for his rudeness.

"Your right it is stupid bu-"

"Sanada-kun?" Yagyuu's voice came from over the racks upon racks of dresses. "Sanada-kun, please come out, Marui-kun didn't mean what he said honestly. I wouldn't lie to you!"

"Yea right, and Yukimura is as pure as the tap water in Mexico, Sanada don't believe him!" Niou yelled out. "Marui made me look like a god damn S'more over here so if you look like Lemon Meringue pie then hey all the better I guess." Niou called out again.

"You do look like pie Sanada, I bet Yukimura could just eat you up right now." Atobe snickered.

"Shut it Prissy boy," Sanada spat back quietly. Atobe let out a gasp before springing up.

"SANADA, Ore-sama is hurt and distraught because of your CRUEL words towards him!" Atobe practically yelled for all to hear. Tezuka looked up at him as did Sanada, only his look was one of death and gore towards the Hyotei Captain.

"Oh, Sanada-kun," Yagyuu gave a small polite smile as he bent down next to Tezuka. "Thank you for finding him Tezuka-san, Atobe-san. Come now Sanada-kun, we aren't done with you just yet." He held out a hand. Sanada gazed at the offering long and hard before turning to Tezuka.

"I hate both of you and I will exact my revenge and pull you down with me."

"Good luck with that Sanada, bye bye!" Atobe smiled as Sanada was dragged away to his doom…er…room, changing room.

"That was unnecessary, Atobe."

"A lot of things in life are unnecessary Tezuka, but it's whatever either way we go because life is predetermined for us." Atobe shrugged.

"Whatever."

"See now you're getting it."

* * *

"WAH FUJIKO YOU LOOK SO PRETTY!" Eiji shrieked as the boy walked out in his white dress. Fuji, surprisingly but not very at the same time, was rather good at this whole "I'm going to be a cross dresser" thing. The white from the dress was brighter than his own creamy skin and the blush colored rose that hung around the waist with a matching lace cord accentuated it all quite nicely, even the dreaded things known as 'sleeves' looked nice, well if you could call them sleeves they were more like shoulder wrappings.

"You think so Eiji?" Fuji asked doing a small pirouette.

"Yes of course, I wish I could look that pretty!"

"Oh well you can try Eiji, I mean it isn't impossible, well almost not."

"Yea…wait what?"

"NOTHING!" Fuji sang as he returned to his room. "You silly little…bastard." He added under his voice.

"Oishi," Eiji whined.

"What is it?"

"Help me…please?"

"No."

"WHY?""Because, I am but a lowly Emcee what do I know, it doesn't matter what I think since its ok for me to be left alone to die outside at the hands of children's play things!" Oishi flailed his arms about in his rant, "Is that ok with you Mr. Contestant?"

"Ugh… Calm down Oishi, we would have come back for you-"

"WHEN?"

"Soon?"

"WRONG YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE!" Oishi's eyes began to tear up as he sniffled a little, "You never cared about me or my feelings, how can we be the 'unbeatable GOLDEN PAIR' if we can't even look out for each other while shopping for dresses…you don't even love me, you love Tezuka!"

"What heard my name?" Tezuka's head popped out from the top of one of the nearby racks, his glasses slightly askew. Why where Tezuka's glasses askew? Doesn't matter, they just were.

"Nothing." Eiji nervously laughed.

"Oh. GAH!" Tezuka was pulled down quickly back into the material abyss by some unseen force.

* * *

"Atobe, I'm against premarital sex."

"Well damn, we'll have to fix that."

"Hahaha jokes on you I have hepatitis!"

"NGUAAHAA!" Atobe freaked falling backwards as he became tangled in the dresses.

"Whew saved my virginity for another time." Tezuka smirked to himself.

* * *

**Alright first things first,  
1) Oh yea I'm going to figure out a way to associate everyone in Rikkai with a food. So far we have  
a) Niou, who is a S'more  
b) Sanada who is Lemon Meringue Pie  
2) YES OISHI IS A FREAKIN WHINER! have you seen him in the nationals arc of the anime? OMG he crys so much during Tezuka and Sanada's match its like insane! Seriously I disliked him before, but after that AFTER I HAD TO LOOK AT HIM FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES and not the amazingness of Tezuka and Sanada, I was pissed I tell you...PISSED!  
3) Atobe TOTALLY makes that noise when he freaks out./  
4) no Tezuka does not have hepatitis...**

**I really do like this chapter so much interaction between two that I never really write about TOGETHER I write about them seperately...but yea...oh well. I don't really feel like I got the funny in this chapter, like it may seem like it but it's not like I'm sitting here grinning while writing it, you know what I mean? Bleh probably not but its whatever.****  
reviews are always appreciated so thanks to all those who do!  
**

**Animeo  
**


	11. Cream and the languagesof offense?

**Alright, I'll just fess up now with this...-sigh- The reason why I pushed this 'chapter' out so quickly is because I'm not going to be able to write for a while mainly because of musical practice. We've got two weeks before opening night and we are SO NOT READY and I'm not ready so we'll be haveing like LATE practices and stuff like that. All that said I'm not sure when I'll be able to get another chapter out. So do enjoy this one you guys!**

* * *

"This is completely stupid Chotarou." Shishido grumbled whilst stepping out of his dressing room. "Really cream?" He lifted up the dress.

"Yes Shishido-san, cream. What you don't like it?"

"Of course I don't like it, I never will because _I_ don't wear dresses! I'm a man Chotarou, not a doll!"

"YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ACTING LIKE A MAN SHISHIDO-SAN; YOU'RE GOING TO BE DRESSED AS A GIRL SO ACT LIKE IT DAMN IT ALL!" Chotarou yelled clenching his fists; a small twitch had set in near his left eye due to the sudden rush of adrenaline in his outburst.

"O-ok Chotarou, just chill out alright, I'll wear the cream." Shishido flinched as he backed away.

"DAMN RIGHT YOU…will…" Otori relaxed, his fists becoming unclenched and his breathing slowed back down to a normal pace. "I'm sorry Shishido-san I shouldn't have done that…"

"It's…its fine just don't freak like that again." _'You could eat me alive if you ever got mad enough…I seriously thought I was going to die there for second, whew.'_

Shishido stood there for a moment trying to think of something to say to Otori. What is something that would make him happy?

"Hey um Chotarou?"

"Yes Shishido-san?"

"Since you like the cream so much, umm why don't you go and pick out a few more dresses that color." Shishido turned away and closed the door to the dressing room behind him, effectively making sure that Otori couldn't see his heavily flushed face.

"Really Shishido-san? I'll go do that right now!" Otori smiled at the door before _almost_ skipping off, since skipping was rather girly, as Shishido always put it, he settled for a very light spring in his step. _'Wah, Shishido-san is the best, doing all of this just for me, even though he really does hate cream.'_

* * *

"Hey, Niou what's up with that Hyotei kid?" Marui asked pointing in the direction of Otori who had a very large smile on his face. "Look at that walk; you'd think someone just kissed him or something."

"Or fucked him really hard…" Niou shrugged.

"Niou-kun!" Yagyuu gasped as he sent a glare over to his partner.

"Oh come on Hiroshi, you looked the exact same way when we fina-" Niou started before being punched roughly in the arm, "OOOOOW! Hiroshi! Why you gotta be that guy huh? Why?"

"Why must you be the type to yell out my business in front of others?"

"WHY YOU GOTTA BE THAT GUY?"

"Why must you abuse and ignore all the laws of proper sentence structure?"

"….WHY YOU GOTTA BE THAT GUY?" Niou yelled again with tears threatening his eyes, "You always pick on me -sniff- it's really pissin' me off."

"Why you gotta be that guy?" Yagyuu smirked.

"CAUSE I FUCKIN FEEL LIKE IT YOU DUMBASS!"

"I see…"

"Yea, ain't got nuthin' to say now huh?"

"Adieu."

"DAMN YOU AND YOUR FUCKIN FRENCH SHIT!"

"Umm Niou you do know he's just saying 'bye' in French right?" Marui said uneasily placing a hand on Niou's shoulder.

"Fuck him." Niou took a deep breath before cupping his hands around his mouth so that whatever it was that was about to come out of it could be heard by all. "Fan ta dig och din lilla hund för Hiroshi! Just det ni hörde du franska talar jävel!" He yelled out.

"What the hell did you just say?" Marui asked looking over at Niou, who merely smirked in return.

"Hiroshi isn't the only one who can speak another language. That was Swedish, fatty."

"Why in god's name do you need to know Swedish?"

"The same reason why you eat so much food, because I just want to that's all."

"What about Chinese you know that?" Marui asked

"Chinese? Fuck that shit. If I want to sound like I'm being run over by a squeaky toy then I'll learn Chinese, until then I'm just fine with Swede."

"So hateful, good thing people aren't offended easily."

"If people were offended then I'd be dead by the damn KKK or something stupid like that."

"Umm Niou you aren't black, and the KKK is only in the United States."

"Nor am I white, I'm yellow actually but all that aside, the point is people don't get offended as easily as people think." Niou shrugged, "fact of life."

"Your logic sucks."

"Your face sucks."

* * *

**WAH Such and abrupt and racist/offensive ending! I'm going to hell already so I guess I might as well make sure I'm going right? -sigh- I'll say this much, hopefully no one is offended by my comments this chapter! I said some really hateful things about the chinese and stuff...I was going to add a rant about Koreans and stuff like that, but that will be saved for later, it will probably contain something about WMDs or something to that effect. SO MUCH CURSING FROM RIKKAI OMG POTTY MOUTHS HAHA!**

**Oh and Niou said "Fuck you and your little dog too Hiroshi! THAT'S RIGHT YOU HEARD ME YOU FRENCH TALKING BASTARD!" Only in swedish... yea...**

**animeo**


	12. No Pudgy Atobes or Whoreish Sanadas!

**Alright! Actually I got this out faster than what I thought -yeas for me!- oh and I have been diagnosed as to have Carpel Tunnel (sp?) in my right wrist so yea that pretty much sucks for me! Neh, I'll get over it though, just take plenty of pain killers and I'll be fine!  
Either way Enjoy you guys!**

* * *

"Yukimura-buchou, can we go now?" Kirihara whined, "Fukubuchou, Marui-sempai, and Niou-sempai already have their dresses, I do too!"

"Yes, but we must scope out our competition Akaya." Yukimura chided, "if one isn't prudent in such matters then we will surely loose, and what is something that Rikkai does not do?"

"Lose." Kirihara replied dully, "Still-"

"Akaya."

"Never mind."

"Good. Now run along and stand near Renji."

"But Yanagi-sempai isn't here; I haven't seen him at all." Kirihara frowned as he looked around. It was true no one had seen him at all, or so everyone had thought.

"Oi, Hiroshi what are you doing in that dress rack?" Niou yelled from across the store.

Yagyuu quickly removed his head from said dress rack and stammered, "I-I'm checking sizes?"

Niou peered hard at him for a moment, furrowing his brow as he did so. "What is it Niou-kun?"

"Nuthin', it just seems odd that you're talking to a dress on a hanger that's all." He shrugged, "or maybe it's YANAGI!"

"OH NO YOU CAUGHT ME, GOOOOD BYE!" Yanagi cringed before stepping out of the sea of material and into the horrid world that the others had suffered through for the afternoon, and handed a stack of papers to Yagyuu. "Sorry Yagyuu that I couldn't gather any more scenarios for you."

"It is quite alright Yanagi-kun, this will do quite nicely." Yagyuu thumped the thick stack of papers in his hand with a satisfied smile. "This is more than enough for me."

"Hey whatcha got there Hi-ro-shi?" Niou slinked over and to Yagyuu's side with a snooping eye as he looked over the other boys shoulder. Yagyuu promptly drew away and hid the text from prying eyes, and by prying he meant Niou in specifics.

"Nothing for _you_ to worry about."

"_I'm_ not worried; _I'm_ merely concerned that _you_ are hiding things from _me_."

"Then it is nothing for _you_ to be _concerned_ about then, Niou-kun."

"But Hiroshi-"

"NO!" Yagyuu held up a hand, sharply stopping Niou from finishing his sentence. "If you continue on then horrid things will happen to you, things that are so scandalously, heinous that not even _I_ would be able to think of them."

"But Yagyuu, you're the one writing-" Yanagi interjected.

"Not. Even. I could think of them." Yagyuu turned on his heels and went of to some dark corner to write whatever heinous thoughts a gentleman could think of, down onto paper for his next work.

"He's a weirdo." Kirihara shook his head slowly.

"Yea, but he's my weirdo, man I'm a sicko for that." Niou too shook his head at the very thought.

* * *

In the back of the store where the COUNTLESS dressing rooms where Hyotei and Seishun were still trying to end their own dress problems.

"What the fucking hell?" Mukahi twitched as Eiji stepped out of his dressing room. "WHY IS HE WEARING MY DRESS!?"

Eiji turned around noticing his great distaste not only for the voice, but its owner as well. "What do you mean _your dress?"_

"What do you think fur ball? That dress that you are wearing right now! That is mine, I picked it out first!"

"Shut up, I got it first; you look fat in it anyways!" Eiji childishly stuck his tongue out and placed his hands on his hips.

"Well you look like Atobe back in his uber pudgy days!" Mukahi shot back.

Oshitari quickly slapped his hand of Mukahi's mouth before he could say anymore, "Gakuto you know that usually I don't care what happens to you or anyone else, but you know that we aren't supposed to speak of those days."

"ORE-SAMA HEARD HIS NAME AND THE WORD PUDGY IN THE SAME SENTENCE!" Atobe stormed to the back of the room, a twitch forming its way onto his face as he glowered at all within his range of sight.

"It was Gakuto! Gakuto said it all!" Oshitari shoved the boy forward into the reaching range of Atobe's fury.

"Ore-sama told ALL OF YOU to never EVER mention those times, because Ore-sama has NEVER EVER been pudgy a day in his life, maybe fluffy but NEVER PUDGY! AM. I. UNDERSTOOD?" Atobe fumed through tightly clenched teeth as he held Gakuto by roots of his hair, giving him a firm, hard shake on every emphasized word. "Well?"

Gakuto gave a slow steady nod before Atobe let him go. "Good. Now remember next time," Atobe grabbed a stray coat hanger and shoved it through one of the walls, "that will be your face and possibly your body if I ever here you mention that time again."

Gakuto eyes widened and quivered, being on the verge of tears from the display, he looked back at Oshitari who merely shrugged and mouthed "I told you so." and turned away. Eiji's mouth was agape, unaware that the high-strung diva of Hyotei could loose his cool in such an extreme manner. Practically threatening the well being of his own teammate with something as minuscule as hanger, and displaying his destructive powers with it all at once.

"He's insane…"

"Nope, he's just vain and insecure about things." Tezuka drawled as he crossed his arms over his chest, while simultaneously holding up the dress he was wearing. Seriously did Atobe have to suggest strapless? It was so uncomfortable and Tezuka felt like it was about to fall any moment, despite his proper fitting on him.

"Wow Tezuka, you look pretty!" Eiji gasped.

"You think so huh?"

"Yeah, what do you think of mine?"

"Well I guess if Oishi likes cows stuffed into sausage casings, then I guess it looks fine." Tezuka shrugged before shuffling his way back into his changing room. Eiji stood there mouth agape for the second time.

"That fucking whore…" He gasped.

"I'm not a whore," Tezuka popped his head out. "If you want to talk to a whore go and see Sanada. He's been with Atobe, Yukimura, Kirihara, and I believe a threesome with Niou, and Yagyuu. I'm a freakin angel compared to him."

"I HEARD THAT TEZUKA! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT I HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE!" Sanada yelled.

"YEA WELL, I MAY NOT HAVE AS MUCH EXPERIENCE, BUT AT LEAST I DON'T RUN THE RISK OF GETTING EVERY STD IN THE WHOLE FUCKING NATION! YOU TWO-BIT PROSTITUTE!" Tezuka shouted back with a satisfied smirk, "Take that you ass hole."

* * *

"Damn…he's got you there Sanada." Niou snickered.

"Shut up Niou, you were mentioned in his little list."

"WHAT?" Niou gasped before turning in the direction of the changing rooms, "FUCK YOU TEZUKA, I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH THIS DUMBASS IN ALL MY LIFE!"

"WHATEVER YOU GET THE FUCKIN' PICTURE!" Tezuka's voice rang out.

"Ahh, whatever…at least I get to end the chapter again."

"Chapter, Niou-kun?" Yagyuu questioned.

"Yea, I don't even know what I'm talking about, but it sounds nice that I'm the last thing that people think about when they read something on some weird fan site." Niou drawled as he stared at the ceiling dreamily.

"Ugh…yea…must be nice." Yagyuu gave a small nervous laugh.

* * *

**Holy mother...that was SOOO MUCH OOC-ness at the ending it was like insane. -gasp- Atobe being pudgy???? I don't know I found it hilarious personally. Oh and BTW I'm getting my hair cut like Oshitari's! Mainly because my mom won't let me get it cut like Atobe's or Sanada's so I'll just settle with Oshitari ( I can't dye it blue though -pout-). Reviews I luffles them!**

**animeo**


	13. So that's why no one was giving looks

**YEA! another chapter done! I'm muddling through this slowly but surely I swear you guys! Enjoy!**

* * *

Finally, after what felt like days to our poor boys, their dresses where picked out. Now the question was…who was going to pay for them? These where high school students without a job because tennis took up too much of their free time.

"Ore-sama shall pay for his and Tezuka's. My team I know for sure has plastic somewhere, as for the rest of you," Atobe paused for a moment and gazed out the door. There he saw what could be the best potential place for several of these peasants to get money, "There is a nice corner outside, get going before the noon rush ends." he pointed towards the door.

Niou smirked and stepped forward putting on his sweetest most innocent face he could muster, knowing Niou it wasn't very much. "Oh Atobe-sama," He said sweetly, "I know you wouldn't mind paying for my little dress huh?"

"If he acts any sweeter he'll make us all go into a diabetic coma," Sanada cringed looking away.

"Bite me Sanada," Niou smiled through clenched teeth.

"Ore-sama must decline, Niou, Ore-sama already knows that you probably stole a credit card from your parents this morning, and are going to blame it on some younger sibling more or less, your little sister most likely."

Niou's eyes widened as he backed away horrified of this little spill, "He…He found me out?" Niou's right eye twitched violently as he straightened back up and smirked, "Good for you Atobe, I commend you performance and deduction." He gave a half bow.

"Besides Ore-sama has no need for two-bit prostitutes," He gave a sideways glance over to Sanada, "I've already done my time with one."

"I am not a two-bit whore!" Sanada growled as he repeatedly clenched his hands into fists and then relaxed them.

"You totally are Sanada, don't deny it. Have you even seen Tezuka's huge ass list of names of the people you've fucked and or been fucked by?" Niou asked, "It's HUGE like gargantuan huge…it's crazy and I thought I'd been around the block a few times."

"TARUNDORU!" Sanada shouted and he back handed Jackal.

"The HELL? I didn't say anything!" Jackal yelled back, landing on a rack of extremely overly puffy dresses he threw a small fit yelling, "I hate everything!"

"No one cares anymore; you're like what an exchange student? We'll get a new regular once your time is up." Yukimura shrugged before ambling away.

"Oi you Hyotei kid!" Jackal shot a finger at Otori, who turned around at the sudden sound.

"Me?"

"YES! Do you still have that razor blade?" Oshitari immediately pulled Mukahi in front of him as protection from any stray flying sharp, pointy things that could potentially harm him, only when Otori shook his head no, did Oshitari relax. "Damn, who does?"

"We hid them all Jackal," Marui grinned, "We can't let you die…yet. You can die when you go back home."

"Oh that makes me feel better."

"I'm glad! Now buck up Mr. Emo kid we don't like people like you…in fact at Rikkai Dai we execute the emo." Marui replied cheerfully, he was totally ok with his statement apparently. Jackal's complexion was ashen as he stood back up shakily.

"Alright I'll stop being…emo now."

"Glad to know you see things our way Jackal, you just might live to see the age of twenty at this positive rate!"

Niou turned away from the duo and faced the rest of Seigaku and Rikkai, "Well I don't know about you guys but we are taken care of, "He gestured to Hyotei, Tezuka, and himself. "Go one you heard Atobe, get out there and sell sell sell!"

"Go team!" Fuji laughed.

"That's the spirit why don't the rest of you be like him!"

"Because Niou, we have self respect." Sanada stated.

"They have self respect," Niou gestured to the group, "You Sanada just don't want to prove everyone right that you _are_ in fact a two-bit whore."

Niou really was starting to piss Sanada off more so than what he usually did in everyday life.

"I don't want to go sell myself Niou-sempai! My mommy says it's not safe to talk to strangers and even more unsafe if I have sexual relations with them! I could get a s-sex- oh what are those called Yagyuu-sempai?" Kirihara asked innocently.

"Sexually Transmitted Diseases?" Yagyuu said.

"YEA THAT! My mommy says I can't get those, Niou-sempai, they're d-detri-detral-"

"Detrimental." Yagyuu sighed.

"Yea, detrimental to my health."

"Yes well your ignorance is a detrition to my nerves right now brattling." Niou spat back, "See I can use big words too, with out the help of Hiroshi!"

"Yes, and he uses them correctly, I'm so proud." Yagyuu deadpanned.

"HEY WAIT A SECOND!" Eiji yelled catching everyone's attention. They stared at him waiting for the acrobat to continue on. "There aren't any sales clerks here you guys, haven't any of you noticed that?"

"HAHA I knew I wasn't slacking off, there wasn't anyone here to give us weird looks Sanada, IN YOUR FUCKIN' FACE DIPWAD!" Niou laughed in Sanada's face.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Face. Niou." Sanada said in a dangerous tone. "Before I freakin bitch slap you into next the next century, and don't think I won't do it."

Niou sank back and looked away, "Yes sir."

"I'm now concerned on a number of levels on just how ignorant you really are Niou-kun." Yagyuu shook his head in remorse of little life his partner probably had left at this point.

"So how are we going to pay for this stuff?" Echizen asked.

"Well since no one is here, we could just walk out of here and no one would notice." Niou suggested.

"Sure and twenty-five high school boys walking around town with prom dresses is entirely inconspicuous Niou," Sanada sighed, "Let's just forget it."

"HELL NO!" They all yelled at Sanada.

"I'm not going through this hell again just because you don't want to commit a felony, Sanada!" Niou yelled over the others.

"Wait why is the store unlocked if no one is here?" Echizen questioned, everyone looked over at Niou, expecting an answer.

"I jimmied the lock and got us in." He shrugged.

"You did what?" Yagyuu hit Niou over the back of the head.

"OW Hiroshi, that wasn't necessary."

"Of course it was, so let's see; breaking and entering, conspiring to steal merchandise, destruction of public property-"

"Alright I get it, I've caused a few misdemeanors so what?" Niou drawled out nonchalantly.

"A few misdemeanors? More like you've broken a few laws and felonies."

"Whatever, let's go" Niou waved his hand towards the door, "We need to get going before traffic picks up again." Picking up his dress he was the first to leave.

"Niou-kun!" Yagyuu called after him as the others passed by.

"Hurry up Hiro-chan, you'll get left behind!" Niou called back with a laugh.

So thus, they all ended up stealing over one million yen worth of dresses, surprisingly no one caught them.

"Anyone else find this weird?" Kirihara asked glancing around the crowd of people on the street.

"Nope," the rest of them said in unison as they picked up the pace.

"Oh, just checking."

* * *

**YES FINALLY WE ARE OUT OF THE DRESS SHOP! Dear god chapter 13 is a mile stone right now just because of that. now I have to think of what's next. I will gladly take any suggestions that are offered, mainly because I'm so freakin stressed right now that I can't exactly think. SO THANKS IN ADVANCE! and Reviews are great great great!**

**animeo**


	14. Being found out and scolded for it

**YEA CHAPTER! Enjoy (no notes this time around how odd)**

* * *

Ryuzaki-sensei, having come out of a faculty meeting, was quite exhausted and didn't really want to put up with any nonsense from the tennis team this afternoon. "Those idiots had better be already practicing, at least warming up." She grumbled walking out of the school building's back door.

Upon arriving at the tennis courts she found that they weren't practicing nor were they warming up. In fact, none of the regulars were on the courts at all, not a single hair of them could be found. "Where are they?"

"Do you think we can hide them in here?" Fuji motioned towards one of the storage bins.

"And get wrinkles in them, you guys can but I am not." Tezuka said looking at the bin with as much distaste as his face would allow.

Fuji's eyes slid open in a side long glance, "I think someone here has been hanging around Atobe Keigo too much."

"I think someone here needs to get laid." Tezuka hissed back.

"Dick." Tezuka stared at Fuji for a moment as they locked eyes in a harsh glaring battle.

"I'm not even going to give you the benefit of a response to that….DOUCHE BAG!"

"STOP BOTH OF YOU!" Oishi yelled shoving his way in between the two boys. Ever since this had started the two of them had become so moody and bitchy around each other, what were they girls on the rag? They certainly acted like it that's for damn sure.

"I'm tired of here you bicker like your girls or something. Just because you two are gay doesn't mean you can act like those annoying, drama causing, ass holes(*), understand!" Oishi asked looking both of them in the eyes.

"Ow Oishi, that one really hurt." Tezuka murmured touching his chest lightly.

"I felt it." Echizen whispered to Kikumaru who nodded in response.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL OF YOU REGULARS AT?" Ryuzaki's harsh voice came from out on the courts.

"Damn it we have to hide these dresses incase people did see us and want to report it." Oishi sighed taking Tezuka and Fuji's dresses from them and promptly stuffed both of them into the storage bin. "As for the rest of you, do hurry up and stuff them into this bin and I'll take care of things from-"

The door busted open almost off of its hinges as Ryuuzaki stepped inside, hands placed on her hips as she glowered down at the boys.

"What the hell are you doing in here," she looked around the room looking for some kind of explination, finally resting her eyes on Oishi who was still holding the dresses.

"I knew all of you were gay, but not _that_ gay or at least that you couldn't be into the that sort of kink, you're too young for that." She sighed.

All of the regulars looked at her for a moment before cringing and saying things along the lines of "Eww. That's sick you old pervert. You've got a twisted mind. Ochibi cover your ears!"

"True, gay as we are, we are not that type of gay." Fuji wagged his finger in her face. "That's silly of you to think so low of us. We aren't common whores, well except Tezuka he's a pretty big whore at times. The rest of us however, are not we don't stoop that low (**)."

Tezuka shot a glare over at Fuji and looked almost as though he was about to strangle him with his eyes. "Oh don't be so angry Tezuka, you know that Sanada-kun is your idol in the whore-ish status levels of the underground prostitute world." Fuji's cheeky grin was really starting to piss Tezuka off even more so than usual. He wasn't a whore like Sanada, nor did he idolize him for the low fact that Sanada was a two-bit prostitute, and that he was also probably better than his own self at having sex. Well given the amount of experience that Sanada has had it would only be natural that the other would be better.

"I'm going to kill you now." Tezuka muttered taking a small step forward.

"Go ahead, you think you got the-"

"OI, STOP IT!" Oishi intervened once again, only because blood was hard to get out of carpet and prom dresses. Blood had this way of making the nastiest little stains on satin and silk and Oishi didn't feel like sitting around with a toothbrush and delicately rub the offending 'blemishes' away right before this stupid pageant.

"Oishi is right, take you cat fight outside were one of you can at least go down like a real man (***)." The Coach stated pointing to the door, "Now all of you out there and warm up, I'll deal with the rest of your punishment later."

"Yes ma'am," was their broken reply as the slunk from the room, their heads hung low, tails between their legs (if they had any that is…).

* * *

"Ore-sama is very disappointed in all of you. Honestly, stealing dresses from a store."

"He forgets that he too stole a dress." Oshitari whispered to Mukahi hoping that Atobe wouldn't hear the exchange.

"That's not very nice sempai!" Otori chided from his chair next to Shishido, which was on the other side of the room.

"What isn't very nice?" Atobe asked turning to Otori, who in reply pointed to Mukahi and Oshitari.

"God damn it Otori you just had to ruin it didn't you?" Mukahi yelled.

"I guess Shishido wasn't kidding when he said you were part dog." Oshitari mused, a smirk forming its way across his face as he turned towards the aforementioned dash specialist.

"What I never-" Shishido stammered out his face even began to turn red from the embarrassment.

"It's ok Shishido-san I know what you say about me, and just so you know I think you're cute too." Otori smiled and hugged Shishido, whose face only became darker in hue.

"W-Why would I say something like that?"

"Because you _loooove_ him" Mukahi said in a teasing tone of voice. "I think it's cute."

"Shut up Gakuto!" Shishido spat back harshly as he pushed Otori away and ran over to the nearest corner.

"Ahem," Atobe coughed gathering the other's attention. "Now may we please continue?"

"We know we stole, but who cares? We got away with it didn't we so what's the problem?" Mukahi groaned.

"Ugh…fine then, why don't we discuss Sanada being a whore then?" Atobe sighed sitting down on the bench beside Kabaji.

Otori perked up for a moment before frowning slightly, and turned to Atobe. "That wasn't very nice, he heard you."

Everyone in the room incredulously looked at Otori. Sanada was in the Kanagawa Prefecture, they where in Tokyo which was quite a ways away from Sanada, so how is it that he could have heard Atobe call him a whore when Atobe had barely even said it loud enough for everyone to hear?

"What? You guys didn't hear him yell 'Tarundoru' just now?" Otori asked always playing his innocence card with pride.

"No we didn't, I doubt he even said that." Shishido replied.

* * *

**_At that same time in the far off place of Kanagawa...._**

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING NIOU!?" Sanada yelled as he watched in horror as his precious hat was taken hostage by the Petenshi. The large flame of a cigarette lighter was lingering dangerously close to the hat.

"What does it look like? I'm going to feminize you Sanada, which means Mr. hat here goes bye bye in a really cool flamy death, just think this is what you will look like when you burn in hell." Niou grinned as he allowed the flames to lick at the brim. Niou let out a bitter laugh and said in a high pitched tone, "_Oh no, stop that Niou, I don't want to burn in hell, I like my gross sweaty smell since Sanada never washes me. Burn the pet rock instead, it at least has a small chance of surviving the flame…THE FLAME!"_ The hat began to catch finally as Niou dropped the burning mass. Sanada stood there, rooted to his spot as he watch his poor hat burn into nothing-ness.

"TARUNDORU!" Sanada cried as he fell to his knees. Niou laughed as he turned and walked away.

"Phase one completed in operation: make Sanada girly for the pageant." He said to Yagyuu as he walked into the club room.

"Good work Niou-kun, but did you really have to burn it in front of him?"

"OH yea, then there wouldn't be any fun in it."

"NIOU I'M GOING TO KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP TONIGHT!" Sanada sobbed from outside.

"I'll be sure to sleep with one eye open then." Niou muttered as he peeled his shirt off, then shot a smirk over at Yagyuu.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just never realized how much your cynical side turned me on."

"Not that big of a surprise is it? You give me no credit Niou-kun, I am you at times."

"True true, then does that mean that my own self turns me on? Then I might as well mastubate and throw you out that window Hiro-chan." Niou snickered then straighted up as he thought more on what he had just said. "I am sexy enough to make myself horny just thinking about me..."

"Niou-kun, you're thinking too much, just stop." Yagyuu sighed and shook his head. His partner really was strange at times.

* * *

**Alright let's get these notes out of the way shall we?  
*When I say this I mean the ones that go WAY OVER BOARD! I'm fine with men being gay (obviously) but there is a limit at times and when they get to be just as bitchy and cattish as girls then I'm going "NO SIR I don't think so mister _MAN_ this is TOO FAR!"  
**There isn't anything wrong with men being a man whore (I know quite a few)  
***And this is where I admit that I'm just being a total bitch at this point. Obviously gay men are just that MEN so yea...needn't go any further should I or else I'll start talking about their awkward male appendages....and no one wants to hear about that well no when I talk about them.**

**OK MOVING ON  
I like this chapter to be totally honest. As per usual Tezuka and Fuji are at each others throats, when usually they are all 'I luffles you!' hehe screw that we AtobexTezuka! Otori is just plain weird now, and Sanada was made fun of thus making everything right in the world! Except for Sanada's hat being burned but knowing Sanada he has a back up somewhere just that one was his favorite. Ah and Niou over thinks things...not a big surprise**

**So yet another long ass authoress note and chapter comes to a close for now. Reviews as always are very lovely (I'm off for a week so give me some long ones for thanksgiving break! hehe)**

**Your faithful Authoress,**

**animeo**


	15. Niou and Yagyuu's Platinum Commentary!

**HAHA! Yea, this pretty much a crap chapter, but who cares it's Niou and Yagyuu! Doing commentary how amazing is that? I don't know but it seems pretty cool. Enjoy!**

* * *

Niou steps out into view and smiles "Hi guys I know what you thinking right? _Niou what are you doing here?_" Niou rubs his hands together and grins. "Well puppets I'm here to tell you that I will be doing a form of 'commentary' as the authoress called it."

"In short we will be reviewing key events from each chapter thus far and will insert our opinions on the situation." Yagyuu stated.

"Pretty bad ass huh? I bet Sanada is kicking himself for backing out of this."

"I doubt Sanada-kun would want to relive some of that humiliation."

"But it's true he is a whore!" Niou frowned. Yagyuu raised an eyebrow.

"I never said he wasn't." Yagyuu said back, thus starting the ping-pong match between them.

"So you are admitting that you believe he is one."

"I never said that either, Niou-kun."

"But you just-" Niou stopped and thought for a moment. How could he win this, because he could just hear Yukimura right now, _"Members of Rikkai do NOT lose under any circumstances, Niou?" _Therefore, he could not loose this match with Yagyuu at any cost.

"I just what Niou-kun?" A smirk slowly forms on Yagyuu's lips before falling flat into line again. Niou was trying to subdue his laughter. "Niou-kun?"

"Sorry I just thought of how funny it would be if Sanada knew you were the one that said to burn his hat. I would love to see that reaction."

"He wouldn't believe you."

"Try me." Niou threatened leaning in closer to Yagyuu. The other let out a sigh and adjusted his glasses.

"Aren't we here to do commentary?" He said. _'Ha ha changing the subject meaning I won.'_ Niou smiles and nods.

"Yes we are Hiro-chan."

"Now Chapter 1...let's see." Yagyuu looks over the various monitors in front of them. "Oh yes, this is when Sanada-kun breaks the news to Tezuka-kun and Atobe-kun and-"

"HE THREATENS THEM INTO THIS!" Niou busted out laughing, "I never knew Sanada was that afraid of me."

"Well Niou-kun, it isn't that surprising, given the intense dislike you have for Sanada-kun I would be afraid too."

"Yes but I never thought he would be a big enough pansy to take others down with him, what happen to honor and responsibility?"

"Once again Niou-kun, it is you that we are talking about." Yagyuu sighed flipping over to the next monitor labeled Chapter 2.

"My my Tezuka-san is forceful with his team isn't he?" Yagyuu said tapping his chin, "Commanding that they participate."

"Not commanding telling them," Niou corrects wagging a finger in Yagyuu's face, "Then getting into a verbal cat fight with another teammate."

"Sounds like someone here."

"Look Fatty asks for it, besides we don't get this vicious. Usually it is like two words and we are done, but these people are pros. I applaud them." Niou smirks and gives a light 'golf' clap for the two Seigaku regulars. "Very good verbal form that's for sure."

"But he ends it by enforcing his Buchou authority on him." Yagyuu pointed to the screen just as Tezuka assigned the laps.

"Fuji 'counters' haha I crack myself up sometimes." Niou snickers, Yagyuu sighs.

"He's upping the laps…"

Niou let out a snort and rolled his eyes, "che, and two hundred laps? He is complaining about that. Sanada and Yukimura have made us do more everyday."

"Yes mostly because of you,"

"You aren't entirely innocent Mr. Gentleman; I saw your name written all over a couple of those pranks. Especially the switch, which wouldn't have been born had it not, had been for your odd cosplay fetish."

Yagyuu shot a cold glare at Niou from behind his glasses, "I do not have a cosplay fetish Niou-kun."

"Sure you don't, because you aren't the one that dressed up like me first, but hey if that is what gets you jolly then go with it." Niou shrugged, Yagyuu grimaced and decided it best to not say anything else. When a Petenshi is provoked, only bad things can come of it.

"Alright next chapter Hiro-chan!" Niou smiled turning to the monitor. "Aw, it's just Hyotei who cares about them?"

"Wait that silver haired kid, look Niou-kun, he has something shiny in his hands." Yagyuu grabbed Niou's wrist and pulled him over closer to get a better look.

"Which one there's like two of them?"

Yagyuu sighed having to relive this moment again, "The one that you said looked like he was fucked really hard."

"OH I see it now." Niou peered closer knitting his brow whilst doing so. "What is that?"

"I'm not sure; I was hoping you could tell me."

"HOLY SHIT!" Niou and Yagyuu screamed pushing themselves away from the monitor in unison.

"Hiroshi back that up I want to see that again!" Niou laughed scooting back up to the screen. "That kid just threw that shiny thing and it landed in that Oshitari guy's eye!"

"Alright hold on." Yagyuu pushed a few buttons as the tape backed up to the it's place before whatever it was had been thrown.

"Alright play it slow." Niou ordered. Yagyuu mumbled something, but followed the order. "STOP!"

"What is it?"

"Look look! I think that is a razor blade! THAT KID IS FUCKING EMO!"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I doubt Hyotei is hardcore enough for knife fights and shit like that. Fudomine on the other hand, their tennis sucks, but I can bet you anything that they have _at least_ two knife fights a week possible one shanking."

"One what?"

"Shanking as in stabbing, blood, organs, occasionally ending in death." Niou explained.

"No more American TV for you Niou-kun, it's messing with your thought process."

"Word to your mother, home skillet, west sieede!" Niou posed in some weird fashioned, which once again caused Yagyuu to question his supposed intelligence.

'_This is the boy who is better than Yanagi at math, such a waste of good intelligence.'_

"Oi Yagyuu, look they're playing Charades…what a bunch of dorks!"

"That is a bit strange."

"Let's move on before I get even more disturbed."

"Yes let's. Chapter four is next."

"Do we have to go over this chapter? I mean we were there we know what happened." Niou groaned, his laziness was beginning to set it.

"Sorry Niou-kun, but Yukimura-kun said every chapter." Yagyuu replied, he did not really want to do every chapter, but Yukimura said to, and his scorn was worse than Yagyuu's on a bad day.

"Fine let's just get this over with." Niou leaned onto the control panel in front of him 'accidentally' hitting the fast forward button during the process. "Oh damn, looks like it's the next chapter already."

"So it is." Yagyuu did not care, he really did not anymore.

"Chapter five is it?" Niou asked.

"Yes, Niou-kun you forgot to press play, it's still fast forwarding."

"It's nothing but whining anyways." Niou yawned. Yagyuu scowled and pressed play stopping it on Hyotei's section.

'_Ore-sama must agree with you there. Niou Masaharu maybe the trickster of the courts but is nothing when it come to the beauty and power of Hyotei.'_ Niou's head perked up and glared at the TV.

"HOW DARE HE! I'M PRETTIER THAN HE IS!" Niou looked over at Yagyuu. "Aren't I?"

"Yes of course Masaharu, you are prettier."

"That's what I thought."

"Oh look, it's your little song that we sang Niou-kun." Yagyuu suppressed a laugh as he stared at Sanada's growing anger on the screen. He had this odd little vein that bulged in his neck when his blood pressured raised, man was it sticking out like a sore thumb.

"I still can't believe the kid came up with that line, it was amazing."

"It was epic."

"It was so great."

"Indeed."

"Next chapter?"

"Next chapter…chapter six."

"We are skipping it." Niou announced as he went straight to chapter 7

"Why?"

"Because I said so, nothing good happens so we're skipping it."

"Chapter seven involves only us." Yagyuu pointed out, "and that cursed store from hell."

"Yep…awwww."

"What?" Yagyuu looked over at Niou.

"You said a curse word voluntarily I am so proud of you." Tears welled up in Niou's eyes.

'_And yet he calls me a girl.'_ Yagyuu scoffed to himself. "All I did was say hell, Niou-kun."

"Yes but that's more vulgar than what you usually say."

"I've been around you far too much."

"No, once you start saying fuck, shit, damn, bastard, and things of that nature at home in front of your parents on a regular basis, only then will you have been around me too long."

"I doubt I will ever become that loose in the mouth Niou-kun." Yagyuu chided trying to return his attention back to the task at hand. "So shall we skip this chapter as well?"

"Suits me just fine. Why would I want to listen to fatty go on about that MisaMisa bitch again?" Niou crossed his arms over his chest.

"Chapter eight, starts out with us-" Yagyuu began.

"And those damn dresses, seriously I looked like a fucking S'more right there!" Niou growled as he pointed at the screen. "Brown isn't my color at all."

"And bright yellow isn't Sanada-kun color. His skin is too dark."

"It's like sticking Jackal in white, it just doesn't work, what's next?"

"Um, Hyotei I believe."

"Ah, Hyotei blah blah that sleepy kid freaks out over MisaMisa really he and Marui are made for each other at this rate. Me threatening the brattling," Niou sighed watching the video.

"Kirihara-kun apparently doesn't mind being raped by you." Yagyuu muttered.

"It's understandable; I am crazy sexy so no one would mind being raped by me." Niou grinned as he winked at Yagyuu.

"Crazy yes, sexy…" Yagyuu trailed off muttering something incoherently Niou peered over at him and glared, but Yagyuu never skipped a beat and found a way out, "On the note of you raping someone, I think they would be disturbed."

"So mean."

"I speak only the truth."

"Eh, that short guy said we were lunatics! We aren't lunatics, we just aren't afraid to show our insanity on a regular basis out in public, completely disregarding any form of proper etiquette." Niou said a grimace befalling his face. Yagyuu looked away, sadly, what Niou said was true and he could not find a way to deny it in any way, how bothersome.

"Whatever next chapter." Niou's sudden comment caused Yagyuu to jump and push the wrong button, the uber fast forward button. "OI Yagyuu! I know you don't want to do this either but damn we can't skip every chapter!"

"Sorry Niou-kun." Yagyuu replied trying to find the play button.

"Over here." Niou pushed the button, "Where are we?"

"I'm not sure hold on." Yagyuu watched the clip for a moment.

"_-esome with Niou, and Yagyuu. I'm a freakin angel compared to him."_

"_I HEARD THAT TEZUKA! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT I HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE!" Sanada yelled._

"_YEA WELL, I MAY NOT HAVE AS MUCH EXPERIENCE, BUT AT LEAST I DON'T RUN THE RISK OF GETTING EVERY STD IN THE WHOLE FUCKING NATION! YOU TWO-BIT PROSTITUTE!" Tezuka shouted back with a satisfied smirk, "Take that you asshole."_

"_Damn…he's got you there Sanada." Niou snickered._

"_Shut up Niou, you were mentioned in his little list."_

"_WHAT?" Niou gasped before turning in the direction of the changing rooms, "FUCK YOU TEZUKA; I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH THIS DUMBASS IN ALL MY LIFE!"_

"_WHATEVER YOU GET THE FUCKIN' PICTURE!" Tezuka's voice rang out._

"_Ahh, whatever…at least I get to end the chapter again."_

"_Chapter, Niou-kun?" Yagyuu questioned._

"_Yea, I don't even know what I'm talking about, but it sounds nice that I'm the last thing that people think about when they read something on some weird fan site." Niou drawled as he stared at the ceiling dreamily._

"_Ugh…yea…must be nice." Yagyuu gave a small nervous laugh."_

"Oh I remember that, it was in Chapter twelve I believe." Niou laughed, "It was at that small shining moment that Tezuka-san was the coolest person in my eyes…but only for a moment," he added.

"Ah, that was pretty amazing."

"Yep." Niou said before let out a groan and stood up from his chair, "NEXT CHAPTER YAGYUU!"

"I heard you, I'm right here…so loud and noisy" He added under his breath.

"Ah Chapter thirteen, that was a good chapter." Niou patted his stomach and sat back down, "We broke so many laws its unreal."

"_We_, Niou-kun? I think _you_ did, but not the rest of us."

"Umm Yagyuu you forget we all stole a dress, well most of us, the rest of you were dead weight during the operation."

"You never planned to pay for those dresses did you?" Yagyuu asked, knowing he right but decided to ponder anyways.

"Yep, why else do you think Yukimura-buchou picked that store?" Niou grinned. His plan had been complete success, and he was rather proud of himself that.

"Sir you're going to have to come with us." A uniformed man came from the closet followed by several others.

"What do mea-" Niou looked back at Yagyuu with a steely glare, "Oh you're an ass Hiroshi." He hissed as the cops put some handcuffs on him

"I'm sorry Niou-kun," Yagyuu waved solemnly.

"No you aren't if you where sorry then you wouldn't have done this in the first place!" Niou yelled backwards as he pushed out the door.

Yagyuu let out a sigh and turned back to the screen, chapter fourteen the last chapter for now.

"Not much to say on this one, Seigaku being found out that it _is_ in fact a team of homos and such, but what team isn't? I think we're all gay in someway, if not then we at least have a gay soul." Yagyuu clicked his tongue a few times as the video continued to play. "Atobe-san reprimanding his team for stealing, good job Atobe-san, and that emo kid hearing Sanada yell at Niou…wait what? Damn he is good. Ah, and Niou-kun burning Sanada-kun's hat. What an eventful chapter." He sighed and looked at the door, "Man I'm an ass for doing that to Niou-kun, but he deserved it."

Yagyuu wrestled with himself for a few more minutes before finally saying, "Screw it, I'll go get him out tonight, I'm so going to hell for this."

"Oh, everyone thank you for reading this not so very informative commentary chapter! Hopefully there will be many more as this story progresses…Arigatou!" Yagyuu smiled. _'Who the hell am I talking to? I do not…stupid paper telling me to do stupid things…'_

* * *

**OH NO Niou was taken to jail! BUT Yagyuu _might_ bail him out somehow, hehe well we will just have to wait and see. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter no matter how stupid it was, I can't think of anything for this story right now so I just decided I'd do something like this since I never have before. If you would like to review you may I don't really mind for this one haha...**

**your faithul Authoress,**

**animeo**


	16. The time has come, The Walrus said

**Hmm I don't really have any notes for this one so Enjoy! OH WAIT! I got lazy and just bumped it up to the day of the pageant, I'm just lazy right now I'm sorry. ENJOY ANYWAYS!**

* * *

Sanada looked around the stage area for something sharp and pointy to gouge his own eyes out with. At this rate he would go completely insane from all of this. Niou was complaining about his brown dress and how Marui was about to take a bit from his side any second because of it. Marui was running around in his dark forest green dress saying that he was a pretty princess and that Niou didn't suite his 'tastes'.

Jackal, was trying to help Akaya into his short yellow gothic Lolita type dress, who was yelling out that this was some form of child pornography and that they would all go to jail for it. Yagyuu kindly reminded him that they were all underage and that they could call it teenage exploration or something like that. Harmless fun that's all.

Atobe was busy eyeing Tezuka, who in turn tried to cover his shoulders with no success. _'Damn strapless dress' _Is the thought that continuously ran through Tezuka's mind now.

Shishido sat in a corner and sulked about the sad truth that he _was_ in fact wearing a dress, a _cream_ colored dress no less. How did he let Otori talk him into this one?

Fuji was busy sulking as well, Tezuka's wish had come true and nature was a cruel mistress, a very cruel mistress. He tried singing the first few notes of the his song, only to have his voice crack and slur on him. Eiji tried to comfort him, but couldn't restrain his own laughter at the sounds that reverberated from Fuji's throat. Looks like there wouldn't be an _Peace on Earth_ tonight at the pageant.

Yukimura merely sat back and soaked it all in, a pleasant smile gracing his lips and his fingers laced together with his thumbs drumming lightly on his chest.

A week had passed by so quickly and since he hadn't a talent to issue in, Sanada had been disgracefully demoted to helper/aid boy also known as _'pageant bitch'_ as Niou dubbed him.

"Oiii! Pageant bitch come here! I need help with something!" Niou called from back stage. Sanada gritted his teeth and looked for something deadly to take with him. If Niou called him that one more time he would scream, he wasn't sure what, but he would scream.

"What do you want?" Sanada's eyes narrowed when he arrived backstage and found Niou smirking.

"Nothing I just wanted to see if you would come to that name that's all." He said.

"Niou-kun," Yagyuu appeared behind Niou and put a hand on his shoulder, "You actually had a reason for calling Sanada-kun back here, other than to see if we would even come."

"Oh yea, I've a got a rip," Niou lifted up his left arm revealing a small hole in the seam. "I got it from Fat ass over there chasing me."

"You want me to fix it?" Niou nodded, "Do I look like a tailor to you Niou?" Niou shrugged. "I'm not so go fix it yourself."

"But Sanada, you are now helper boy. It is your job to _help/aid_ those of us who need it to make this a success for Yukimura. That means that you must help or pay the price of whatever Yukimura dishes out. I personally don't want to be at the end of that spiteful spoon, and I think you don't want to either ne, Sanada?"

Sanada let out a bitter sigh before looking around. "What do you expect me to sew it up with?"

"I don't know. Use your imagination, Cinderella." Niou's smirk was mocking Sanada, he could see it.

"I believe Jackal brought his mother's sewing kit, it should be out in he house somewhere."

Sanada gave a blank stare.

"The house…The area where everyone sits. If it isn't there then it might, perhaps, be in the green room." Yagyuu explained further. Sanada let out a grunt and walked off.

Sanada went out to the house and looked around, not finding the kit anywhere.

"SANADA!" A voice yelled. Sanada gritted his teeth and scowled as he turned around.

"What do you want? I'm busy."

"Ore-sama would like to know what it is that you are doing?" Atobe asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Sanada looked at him, glared, and turned away without a word. "Answer me, Sanada."

"I'm looking for a sewing kit, is that a problem?" Sanada spat out.

"So instead of being in a dress like Tezuka and I were forced into, you are looking for a box of needles? You can't even sew!"

"You think I don't know that?"

"Ore-sama would just like to know why it is that you aren't being humiliated like the rest of us, what makes you so special?"

"I didn't have a talent so I was demoted." Sanada stated.

"_That's right Cinderella, now get back here and sew up this hole!"_ Niou yelled from back stage.

"I CAN'T FIND IT!"

"_Look in the Green Room__Sanada-kun!"_

"Stupid rooms, and sewing kits, I don't sew, I play tennis and-"

"Act like a whore."

"-act like a whore." Sanada said, "Wait what? SHUT UP ATOBE!"

Atobe let out a mock gasp before resting a hand on his chest, "I'm hurt Sanada, Ore-sama did not think that you had fallen so low."

"What do you mean?" He really didn't know to be honest.

"You actually _yelled _at a man in a dress. I thought you were more of man than that Sanada."

"What?"

* * *

_Niou's voice over moment_

"_Hey everyone! Looks like Sanada doesn't have as to what's going on, honestly neither do I. I hate this dress, and I want to burn all of Yukimura's children and then eat them in front of him because of this…oh and punch babies. I hate babies. So why am I doing this again? To hell if I know, I'm just here to look pretty…I guess I'll go now. This was pointless, I'm going to go rape Kirihara now BYE!"_

* * *

"NIOU STOP PLAYING WITH THE MICROPHONES!" Yukimura yelled towards the back of the house.

"I wasn't doing anything." Niou poked his head out from behind the heavy blue, damask curtain.

"YAGYUU!"

"I couldn't help myself Yukimura-kun. It was so tempting, I just had to, perhaps I have been around Niou-kun too much." Yagyuu rattled off his excuses, and shuffled his feet against the worn carpet of the auditorium aisle. Niou stared at him as did Yukimura.

Yagyuu looked up at them a smirk playing onto his face. "If I could I would do it again though."

A gasp came from the back corner, Niou wasn't paying attention as to whom it came from, purely because he was in awe of Yagyuu at the moment. Yagyuu could truly be a terrifying person when he wished to be. Daring to impersonate Niou Masaharu was deadly, but then smirking and saying you would do it again just for kicks was suicide. Everyone knew that, Yagyuu did as well, so why he was doing this no one actually knew.

"Niou, what have you done to him?" Yukimura asked a slight frown on his face.

"Honestly I haven't done anything." Niou threw his hands up in defense. _'Always blame the petenshi first huh?'_

"It's true. I did it all by myself, Mother" Yagyuu sighed.

"WAIT NO I HAVE TO END THIS!" Niou shouted, hiking up his dress to his knees he ran towards Yagyuu and threw his hands over the other's mouth. "silence is good right now…yes very good."

* * *

**Ok so like a week has passed...or maybe more I think the 27th was the last time I updated this one. I know I've been lazy and not updating, but I've got exams all of next week WOOOO! here ya go! Reviews are always appreciated, and just so ya know, I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Your Faithful Authoress,**

**animeo**


	17. No more jokes? Not coolnot at all

**I normally I'd be really nice here...I don't care I JUST WROTE 4,000 plus words on Clear Skies! So this chapter is short and shitty... I'm sorry about that really I am, I'll try and make the next chapter better I'll try but I can't garuntee (I can't spell nor am I going to add punctuation...) Enjoy please -bow-**

* * *

Atobe, after doing his overly dramatic gasp to what Yagyuu had said moments ago, returned his attention to Sanada's un dress clad body. He scowled and muttered something darkly.

"Curse all you want Atobe, I'm not wearing a dress."

More muttering.

"What was that?"

" Ore-sama said and I quote 'Ore-sama loves to see his Tezuka in a dress, a strapless at that, it accentuates his arms nicely. Yes, Ore-sama is very pleased with this." Atobe sighed dreamily. Sanada let out a disgusted snort as Atobe turned around to leave, only to be faced by a rather pink-faced Tezuka whose arms were tightly wrapped around his chest.

"What?" Atobe asked. "Do you have a fever or something, Ahn?" Atobe reached out to touch Tezuka's forehead.

"Don't touch me, you pervert." Tezuka hissed pulling a way from the hand.

"Pervert? Ore-sama is most certainly not a pervert."

"Sure, and Shishido-kun and Otori-kun's love is about as fake Sanada's virginity." Tezuka sneered as he looked up at the ceiling.

"You know what…I give up." Sanada threw his hands up in the air with a tired sigh, "You've guys have got me. Yea, I've slept with a couple of people-"

"COUGH COUGH A LOT COUGH COUGH!" Niou yelled from back stage.

"Whatever…the point is I'm done with this. Poke your fun and have you laughs I'm over it!"

"But," Atobe gave a confused look, "That takes all the fun out of it, then there isn't any point to making _Sanada is a whore and he knows it_ jokes."

"It's true, we only do it because you got pissed." Tezuka added, "Plus I found it to be a lot of fun."

Sanada smirked and pointed at Tezuka, "you only did it because it helped you feel better about the fact that you could _take_ me that's all."

Tezuka's face flushed all the way from the tops of his ears to the nape of his neck. "I-I…you have no reason to be flailing that - that _thing_ around proudly! Some things have no business being that fucking HUGE!" He stuttered as he was pointing down at Sanada's crotch.

"Like I said, you're just pissed because you couldn't _take_ it like most could."

Tezuka glared at Sanada for a long moment before saying, "no one likes a gloater, Sanada."

Sanada merely pointed over at Atobe and raised an eyebrow.

"Your point as been notated, comprehended and tossed out the window with all the other useless junk that can't be filed." Tezuka stated.

* * *

_Inside Tezuka's head at that moment… (YEA THEATRE TIME!)_

"_Sir where do I put this?" A freshman looking Tezuka asked (please refer to the VERY beginning of OVA 21 for that adorable image…of Tezuka…not him saying…GO SEE IT!)_

"_What are you talking about?" Some old guy asked._

"_Well it doesn't fit into any of the current filing cabinets, sir." handing the paper to the old guy the small boy pointed to three very large metal boxes labled 'Atobe', 'Tennis', 'School', and 'Stupid shit that no one gives a flying fuck about…FUCK!'_

"_It fits into the last one." The guy stated turning back to his work._

"_But sir, it deals with Atobe-san as well." The boy added._

"_Oh, well put it into that one."_

"_Ugh…That won't work. We can't have duplicates either…"_

"_Then just toss it out the window." The man grumbled, hunching himself farther into the piles of papers and clutter on his desk._

_The boy let out a gasp. "But-"_

"_DO IT!" The man yelled, "Or I will."_

"_No no, I'll take care of it." Little freshman Tezuka walked over to the window A.K.A Tezuka's ear, and allowed the notation to be pulled away by the winds. "There all done." He smiled walking away to file another important paper._

* * *

"Filed? What are you talking about?" Atobe asked.

"I haven't a clue…" Tezuka replied with a shrug.

"…So…Dead air huh?" Sanada asked, shuffling his feet.

"Yea, what do we do now?"

"I don't know…I figured we'd make a few jokes at Sanada and that would be it, that's usually how things go." Atobe sighed.

"And Niou would find some way to get into trouble and it would actually be Yagyuu doing the trouble making. How boring, it's the same old shit every time…why are people reading this again?" Sanada added sitting down in one of the chairs. Tezuka and Atobe followed suit.

"I don't know…"

"Because some twisted old fuck made us up, then crazed fan people got a hold of us and now look," Tezuka held up his dress and then threw it down in disgust. "This is just plain embarrassing."

"Yep." Atobe and Sanada agreed in unison.

Atobe looked up grimaced, "I guess this is it for this chapter then?"

"Sure."

"I suppose so."

"WAIT NO!" Niou yelled from the stage. "You guys can't end this! I have to!"

"Fuck you Niou." Sanada said.

* * *

**Sorry that my funny isn't all that good right now either. I will say that the only funny part was when Sanada told Tezuka that he was too tight to take him (hey look four 'T's in a row...HANHAHAHA! I'm pathetic I need sleep as well) Well that's the only part that I found funny atleast. I'm going to go now, as always I like reviews.**

**until next time (When ever the hell that is)**

**animeo**


	18. Hair styling and Fanboying at it's best

**Let me first start by saying I dedicate this first part of this chapter to melli-elle-chan because she rocks my face off! I told you that two certain someones would be mentioned if only for a flittering moment they were seen!**

**next in the news, seriously this is going to start eventually! I've dragged this story around the dirt for eighteen chaptes so far, it will end...eventually. I've noticed that I never really do know when I'm going to end something, unless it's a one shot then I know it's going to be done RIGHT THEN, because it's a one shot.**

**disclaimers: omg i'm writing one? ah, weird fanboying on Niou, Marui, and sorta on Atobe's part is going to happen...you'll see.**

* * *

"Yuuta what are we doing here again?" A very confused Mizuki asked as the aforementioned Fuji sibling.

Yuuta let out a sigh and turned back towards his sempai. "We are here because Aniki told me to come, so I decided since out date had be canceled that I'd bring you along to compensate."

"Oh. The program says 'A Womanless Pageant.' Do you know anything about that?" Mizuki asked fingering the folded paper in his hands.

"All Aniki told me is that I'd get a good laugh out of it. I'm going to take his word for it." Yuuta paused for a moment and frowned, "I just realized the danger I potentially just put myself into, maybe we should leave."

"No no no Yuuta, look at this line up," Mizuki handed the program to Yuuta and began reading off the names to him. "Seigaku: Kikumaru Eiji, Fuji Syuusuke, Echizen Ryoma, and…wait what? Tezuka Kunimitsu? Are they serious?" Mizuki's eyes lit up at the prospects of seeing the Tezuka Kunimitsu, and in a dress of all things. He began scanning over the rest of the entries from Hyotei and Rikkai. "Atobe Keigo, Akutagawa Jirou, Mukahi Gakuto, Shishido Ryou; wait didn't he cut his hair off?" Mizuki asked suddenly. Yuuta merely shrugged. "Oh well and Hiyoshi Wakashi. Interesting line up for them."

"Hiyoshi-san? I wouldn't have thought he would have entered."

"Hmm Rikkai has Marui Bunta, Kirihara Akaya, and Niou Masaharu. Not very strong entries on their part."

"Well you win some you loose some. I think we should sit down now Mizuki before all of the seats are taken."

"Aa."

"Oishi! I don't want to do this anymore!" Kikumaru whined as he grabbed onto the left arm of his doubles partner.

"Eiji, you have to. Think about Fuji and Echizen and how they would feel if you backed out now."

"Yea, Tezuka wouldn't be too happy about it either." Kikumaru hung his head in defeat and sighed.

"Who said anything about how Tezuka would feel? Can he feel? I don't know and I don't care."

"Well he must feel something if he's dating Atobe."

"I doubt lust is a feeling Eiji, because that's all there is in that relationship I can guarantee you that." Oishi pointed over Tezuka and Atobe's general direction.

Kikumaru shook his head slowly, "I don't know Oishi, there might be something there."

"Niou-kun, I'm going out to audience now." Yagyuu said glancing back at Niou who was furiously and frivolously brushing his hair.

This was why he kept it tied back constantly, not only did it look cool but it kept him from giving into his obsessive-compulsive disorder type of habit, because the bleach made his scalp itch he was always messing with his hair making him have the felling to brush it in some way.

"Niou-kun did you hear me?" Yagyuu asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah yeah I heard you. Go one I don't care, just remember if I see you laugh at me I will some how make you life into a living hell hole."

"I'd like to see you try Niou-kun." Yagyuu smirked at the seemingly endless possibilities of what Niou could do, but wouldn't because Niou understood that what ever he dished out Yagyuu would possibly return it near ten fold on him.

Niou stuck his tongue out in response.

Yagyuu frowned, "That isn't very lady like…_Masa-chan."_

Niou's eyes widened and narrowed in annoyance he dropped the hair brush to the floor as he hissed, "I've reconsidered, I wasn't going to do what I was going to do, but now because you've said _that_ name I will. Just you wait Hiroshi, you'll regret that mistake soon enough."

"Oh ho, I look forward to it then Masa-chan."

"Just go!" Niou growled.

Yagyuu bowed low before turning and left the back stage area. _'What's the worst he could do in front…of…an entire…auditorium…DAMN! He wouldn't dare do that. Not in front of almost everyone from school. Masaharu…'_

'_Oh yea, I'm totally going to embarrass the living dog shit out of you Hiroshi, simultaneously embarrassing myself in the process, but that doesn't matter all that does is the fact that you'll regret calling me Masa-chan just like my mother does.'_ Niou maliciously rubbed his palms together before turning back to mirror he had been sitting in front of earlier. _'God damn it I've got another fly away!'_ He grabbed up the brush from the floor that had been previously abandoned and returned to his task of turning into a girl…of all the horrid things on the planet. There was only one thing he'd do before doing something like this, and that is impersonate Sanada now that was gross. _'Now all I have to do is straighten it and feather the ends…-retching sounds-'_

"OW!" Niou turned his head in the direction of the yelp. Marui was blowing on his thumb, holding a straightening iron in the other.

"Clip your fat finger?" Niou asked.

Marui sent a glare in Niou's direction. "I'm not well versed in using these things that's all. I bet you'll burn yourself several times before the night ends."

Niou rolled his eyes and groaned, "I doubt it." Niou stole the flat iron and proceeded to do his own hair with ease. Marui got up from his chair and stared at Niou as he worked, not a single "ow" or "Damn it" came from Niou's lips during the process.

"What?" Niou asked looking over, once he had sufficiently added enough flippy-ness to ends of his hair.

"Nothing…If I wasn't afraid of you burning me I'd ask you to fix mine."

"Why would I want to smell burning fat?" Niou scrunched his nose as the prospect. "It's not that hard to use one of these." Niou held out the flat iron.

"It is when you have short hair like mine."

Niou sighed and pushed Marui back into his chair and turned him around. "Now don't move or I will burn you." He warned as he began to part Marui's hair.

"How do you know how to use one of those things anyways?"

"My older sister insisted on using me as a real life doll when I was younger." Niou frowned.

"So that would explain your being…"

"Aa, Not really. I'm not one of those sad sob stories about being sexually confused as a child. Girls are just awkward end of story." Niou replied. "Now shut up and stop moving your fat ass."

"I want to know something else."

"Wha-at?" Niou whined.

"Are you going to be one of those weird gay hairdressers?" Marui asked.

* * *

_Marui's mind theatre! (first time for him let's see how he does)_

_People involved:_

_Niou Masaharu_

_Occupation: world famous hair dresser to the stars_

_Orientation: Homosexual_

_Yagyuu Hiroshi_

_Occupation: Receptionist and lover of Niou Masaharu_

_Orientation: Homosexual (though many question this state)_

"_Hello thank you for calling _Scissors_, this is Yagyuu how may I help you?" Yagyuu said into his head set his smile radiating. "Tuesday? Hold please I'll check for an opening." He pushed the old button on the phone column and grimaced. _

"_To hell if I'm getting you an appointment, your last movie sucked." He mumbled flipping through the date book. Thank god no openings. "Are you still there? I'm sorry but we don't have any openings for Tuesday. No, The rest of this month is out. It's awards season we won't have any openings for awhile. I'm sorry. Yes. Yes. Thank you." Yagyuu pressed the end button and sighed. _'Her movies suck anyways, how would she have enough money to afford one of Masaharu's haircuts?'

_The phone rang again. Yagyuu's face was beginning to hurt from all this smiling, but if he didn't then his nice person vibes would transmit through his voice._

"_Hello, thank you for calling _Scissors_, this is Yagyuu how may I help you?" Yagyuu said, it was the same line he always used when answering the phone. His eyes widened after a few moments from hearing the voice on the other end. "Yes Nakagauchi-san I can see if we have an opening, hold please." Yagyuu pushed the hold button and took the headset off slowly and calmly sat it down on the desk._

"_MASAHARU!" He yelled running to the back of the shop._

"_What is it?" Niou asked popping his head out from behind the curtain._

"_Nakagauchi Masataka is on his way here, he needs something done fast. He's about twenty minutes away."_

"_NAKAGAUCHI MASATAKA!" Niou's eyes widened, that man was only his most favorite model/singer/actor ever_ 'I think I just came a little'._ "Tell him I'll be ready!" Yagyuu turned away, "NO WAIT!" Yagyuu turned back with a confused look. "Is my hair ok? No fly aways right?"_

"_You have one on the right near the top of your head, the same cow lick you've had since middle school." He sighed and went back to returning to his desk._

"_Shit." Niou hissed looking in the nearest mirror, there it was the dreaded cow lick, a hair dresser of Niou's caliber's worst nightmare to deal with, it was just as bad as split ends. He proceeded to fix the abomination post haste. A little hair spray and a quick use of the flat iron and done, cow lick be damned if that was going to ruin this moment._

* * *

Marui sat there as he imagined the rest of the encounter. Niou fawning over Nakagauchi like a shameless school girl and all.

Niou wrinkled his nose and sniffed before clipping the top of Marui's ear.

"OW!"

"Sorry." He muttered. "And no, I'm not going to be a weird gay hairdressers. So stop imagining it."

"But what if Nakagauchi Masataka came to have his hair done by you?"

"Don't you dare bring Nakagauchi-sama into your delusions fatty!" Marui noticing he was pushing the right buttons prodded further.

"And what if Baba Tooru came with him, and they had a huge make out session right there."

Niou's eyes widened at that amazing thought and image. That would be pretty hot. Upon hearing Marui snicker he took the flat iron and hit Marui square across the top of his head.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"Never mess with a man's fantasies especially when he is holding styling tools, you will loose every time." Niou sneered. "Besides, they aren't gay, they're straight, so it would never happen."

"True, what about Kanesaki Kentarou?"

"EW! Adorable as he is, he looks too much like Sanada at the same time for me to find him attractive." Niou squirmed in his dress, and shuddered.

"Seems like you girls are having a nice time, would you like to talk about your feelings as well?" Atobe said from the door way.

"Who are you calling a girl?" Marui and Niou yelled simultaneously.

Atobe, ignoring the question, looked at his finger nails and sighed. "Kanesaki-san is adorable despite his looking like Sanada. Watanabe Daisuke on the other hand…" Atobe trailed off.

"Yea, can't say you're lying there, he is amazing." Marui sighed.

"He's a dork." Niou said.

"An amazing dork, with an amazing voice." Atobe corrected.

"But a dork none the less." Niou replied. He did a once over of his work before saying, "There you go fatty, now cover you eyes." He grabbed the can of hair spray and began creating a massive cloud of aerosol. "Done."

Marui waited a moment allowing the air to clear before looking up into the mirror hesitantly. He wasn't sure what to expect from the trickster. He let out a minute gasp in surprise, it really was nice his hair was shallowly parted to the right, directly over his right eye. Niou had straightened his bangs and flipped out the ends, and several other things had been done as well.

"Ore-sama will admit that you do good work, Niou." Atobe stated as he did a quick once over of the finished job.

Niou's lips quirked into a crooked smile as he leaned in close to Marui's ear. "Now I expect good payment for this." He whispered.

"Like what?" Marui asked.

"You know what I want." Niou raised his eyebrows and shot a sly grin at Marui through the mirror.

"No. You are not getting our babysitters number, besides he isn't gay." Marui crossed his arms over his chest.

"Neither was Hiroshi until I got a hold on him," Niou glanced down the table to a case of bottled water. "Marui, did you know that right now water is your worst enemy with that hair? It is, and if you don't give me what I want I will destroy that masterpiece as much as it pains me to."

Marui horrified expression in the mirror was enough for Niou to know he had won this small battle.

"Fine, its in my phone list." Marui handed Niou his cell phone. "Are you happy now?"

"As a lark." Niou smirked when he found the number. He would definitely be give the dear Reiichiro-kun a call in the near future. The very near future, if Yagyuu gets pissed off enough at his little plan that will soon roll into motion.

"Back to the subject of amazingly hot models and actors, "Niou scribbled down the number and returned Marui his phone. "Saitou Takumi?"

"Is awesome." Oshitari yelled from the other side of the backstage area.

"And we have our opinion stated."

"Ore-sama must give him credit for the first _Boys Love_ movie, if you didn't cry at some point during that, then you really don't have a heart at all." Atobe shrugged.

"It was pretty intense to see." Marui muttered. Niou nodded.

The beginning did confuse him, who would ride a train with bloody hands? Also since when was there EVER a subway train in Tokyo that didn't have a thousand people squished into one car? There was tons of room in the movie. After watching the entire thing though, Niou understood the bloody hands and why Saitou was just laying there. Such a sad movie. He even cried though he'd never admit it aloud.

"Ah Kato Kazuki?" Marui tried.

"Eh, sexy voice." Niou shrugged.

"I like his hair." Atobe said. After a few moments of nothing said Atobe sighed. "Dead air again."

"What air?"

"Dead air, it's a point when nothing is being said, so the air is pronounced dead." Atobe explained.

"Oh." Niou nodded his head. "Ok."

"How much longer until this stupid thing gets started?" Marui asked.

"_Ladies and Gentleman, it's show time!"_ Jackal's voice rang through the speakers in the house.

"I guess now."

* * *

**Is a way this was a totally usless chapter. All that really happened is that Niou fixed his hair then Marui's, Marui has delusional thoughts of Niou owning a hair salon with Yagyuu as his receptionist, then they start talking about Tenimyu actors...that's it...(just so you know, I freaking love Kanesaki Kentarou! he's a dork and andorable especially in his Rikkaimyu photo book picture, of course dressed as Sanada, when he's 'battling' the plastic beetles, so cute so very cute). Like I said nothing of real interest here. **

**BUT AND HOW EVER! I have no idea who is going to win this, so I'll do the talent portion (I'll be calling on certain people for help there, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!) then I'll put a poll up on my profile and have the voting start there on who the winner will be. **

**Also did anyone else here think of Sengoku when Jackal said "Ladies and Gentleman, it's show time!"? Because I did, probably because I've watched Tenimyu far too much.**

**until next time,**

**animeo**


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